


Normal Again

by SunsetNCamden



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Attempted Murder, Chat Noir vs. Ladybug, Delusions, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Inspired by Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Love Confessions, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Rejection, Therapy, Threats of Violence, adrienette - Freeform, it's all in his head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-08-14 01:50:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20184271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunsetNCamden/pseuds/SunsetNCamden
Summary: A Miraculous Ladybug fanfic based on the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" episode, "Normal Again".Chat Noir is hit by an akuma, a patient from a local mental hospital suffering under the delusion that he is a superhero. The hit destabilizes Chat Noir’s miraculous and he cannot hold his transformation. Now, as Adrien, he seeks food for his kwami, but before he can power up again and rejoin the fight, the akuma targets him. Fearing his son will be hurt, Hawkmoth/Gabriel Agreste recalls the akuma before Ladybug can cleanse it. Adrien/Chat flashes back & forth between the ML world and a world where he is in an institution for the mentally ill, having had a nervous breakdown after the disappearance of his mother and falling into a delusion that he's a superhero to cope. His doctor says that his delusion isn’t bringing him comfort anymore, since Ladybug has rejected his love, his father's actually his archenemy, Hawkmoth, and his friends no longer like him after he hurt Marinette’s feelings by rejecting her. Adrien has to decide does he stay in the world where he’s a superhero, but has to fight his father alongside a partner who doesn’t return his love? Or, does he return to a world with two loving parents, but no Ladybug?





	1. Reality Bites

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic adapts the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" episode "Normal Again" using the characters and relationships from the Miraculous Ladybug universe. I'm giving credit to Buffy creator, Joss Wheadon, episode writer, Diego Gutierrez, and episode director, Rick Rosenthal, for inspiration, plot points, and dialogue.  
Fair warning: this fanfic deals with mental illness, which could potentially be a sensitive issue for some people. Overall, the fic is dark in tone and has an ambiguous ending. If you've seen the Buffy episode, then you'll get what I mean.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien's world is turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to AvrilMariaR for beta reading.  
To my Subscribers: I almost have this fic done. Once, complete I'll circle back to my other WIPs. I just had to write this one. The muse called!

“I can’t believe he’d do this,” Chat Noir says out loud, seemingly to no one, but he had heard the footfall of his partner behind him. “He has to be stopped...once and for all.” His jaw is set, determined, as he catches his breath from fighting the akuma rampaging on the streets below his perch on the rooftop. 

His resolution had been shaken upon his discovery of Hawkmoth’s identity. The guilt and sadness he had felt this morning, now changing to anger. If pressed to say something good about his archenemy, Chat had to admit that Hawkmoth was not prejudiced. He’s an equal opportunity villain. Race doesn’t matter, nor religious beliefs, sexuality, or gender identity. He targets them all alike, the rich and the poor, the young and the old, the healthy and even, as in this particular case, the mentally ill.

This was not the first time Hawkmoth had crossed an unwritten line. Afterall, he had akumatized a baby for heaven’s sake! But this...this is too much. He had targeted someone incapable of controlling their emotions due to illness and used those emotions against them. It made Chat feel sick to his stomach to think that his own father could be so insensitive, so..._ cruel _. If anyone is a madman, then it must be Hawkmoth.

“We will, Chat,” Ladybug assures him. “We will…” Her voice trails off with a sigh. Her shoulders are hunched and her arms are wrapped protectively around her core. Although she is looking down at the enemy, she appears to be miles away, her eyes unfocused.

“M’Lady!” he says in greeting, happy to see her, yet uncertain how he’s going to tell her. He knows he _ should _ tell her, but...telling her is going to make it real. And, he’s not sure he’s ready to handle the consequences of his father being a supervillain. He’s going to have to do something about it and whatever that “it” is, scares him. At the same time, he can feel the bubbles of anxiety popping inside of him, making him unable to stand still. He shifts his weight back and forth between each foot, hopping as if the ground underneath is boiling hot to the touch. He can’t go on like this. He _ has _ to tell her. He’ll feel better when he does, he thinks to himself, or at least he hopes he will. It won’t just be his problem, it’ll be _ their _problem. They’ll figure out what to do; they always have before. He trusts her. She’s the only person he can trust with this.

“Sorry I’m late,” she murmurs.

“I’d wait forever for you, ‘Bug,” he flirts. It’s more a knee jerk reaction saying this, not that it’s insincere, but he feels...scattered, so many discordant thoughts running through his mind. If he could just feel normal again, just for a moment, it might help him deal. He wants to settle into a certain rhythm with her, to connect as they normally do through teasing banter, as a way to affirm their relationship before he inevitably disturbs it. She doesn’t take the bait. No rebuff, no buffering quip, not even an eyeroll. Sensing that she’s not to be trifled with today, Chat turns serious. “There’s something important I’ve got to tell you.” The index fingers of each hand tap against one another anxiously.

She turns suddenly, locking eyes with him. For a second, he gets lost in those eyes, seeing only the brilliance of sapphires, forgetting what he was about to say. 

“The akuma?” she prompts. “What did you figure out?”

“He thinks he’s a superhero. Akuma’s in the cape, I think,” he replies hurriedly. “But that’s not it. Actually, It’s about me, well…” he chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, “_ you _ and me, and Ha--...”

“Ugh! Chat, I can’t do this today!” she interrupts abruptly.

He looks up in concern. “M’Lady?” he asks, puzzled by her reaction.

“Not today,” she repeats. “I’ve told you before, there’s no you and me, okay? I don’t feel that way about you.”

_ “Oh.” _

Chat lowers his head and his cat ears lays flat. He deserved that. He had been pressing his case pretty strongly of late, but, could he really be blamed? She’s so wonderful and that guy that she likes, whoever he is, doesn’t seem to have a clue, so couldn’t he at least be given a chance?

“_ Focus, dumbass! _ ” he chastises himself. “ _ Your unrequited love for her is not the highest priority right now. _”

“No, that’s not what I meant. See…”

She shakes her head, lips pressed firmly together in a straight line. “Let’s get this over with…” With a flick of her wrist, the spotted superhero throws out her yo-yo, leaps, and swings down to the chaos below.

“_ Shit. How hard is it to say, ‘Hawkmoth is Gabriel Agreste’? _” he chastises himself. Without hesitation he follows her lead just like always. Planting his baton on the street, he vaults, landing solidly a few meters from the akuma.

\---o---

“Now, he’s shooting nuts at us?” Ladybug asks in exasperation. They’ve taken cover behind some parked cars. Chat Noir cups his hands together, catching a few as they bounce off of the passenger’s side mirror. He pops them into his mouth, enjoying the salty, nutty goodness. Ladybug’s jaw drops in surprise.

“What?” he asks, not understanding her dismay at eating the akuma’s ammunition. “They’re good for you and I am a _ health nut _.”

She rolls her eyes at him. “You’re nuts alright,” she quips.

_ “Darn.” _ He had hoped to get a little chuckle out of her. “ _ She’s probably still mad at you about the earlier misunderstanding. _”

“Ladybug…” he begins, “about before. I didn’t mean anything...I wasn’t trying to…”

“I know,” Ladybug sighs, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I’m sorry, Chaton.”

“No, I’ve been pushy and...a jerk. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear.” He places his hand over hers and squeezes. She smiles, but only slightly. He thought that would improve her mood, but she looks just as sad...no, heartbroken. “Are you okay?” he asks with concern.

“Bad day,” she replies simply. Since they have to keep their identities a secret, she’s always been pretty curt with the personal details.

“Yeah, me too,” he huffs with a rueful smirk, remembering the events of the morning. He’s about to make a joke to try to cheer them both, but he stops himself when he sees her eyes start to fill with tears. Whatever is causing her pain is filtering through her mind.

“Bugaboo…” he says almost pleadingly, “what is it?”

“It’s nothing,” she says, blinking back tears. “Nothing worth crying over. Come on, we can’t stay here forever.” Signalling him to move down the line of parked cars, Ladybug jumps on top of the car they were hiding behind, holding the akuma’s attention all the while spinning her yo-yo to fend off the on-going onslaught of pecans and almonds. Chat’s head bobs downwards. He really needs to tell her, but for now focuses on the job at hand. Although his attacks had not been particularly dangerous, Looney Ben, as the akuma is known, had certainly kept them on their toes. He has the most powers of any akuma that they have ever faced, perhaps because he’s under the delusion that he himself is a superhero.

Taking up a position behind another parked car further down the street from his partner, Chat waits. Ladybug nods to him. He leaps, landing on top of his car and calls out to the akuma. The ploy works; the akuma changes his target, now attacking the feline superhero. Chat is the distraction, giving cover for Ladybug, who calls on her lucky charm.

Chat dodges, rolling out of the way. Wind rushes against his skin, blowing his hair and causing his tail to swing. This is a new power. It’s wind mixed with something, something that tickles. It’s floating down around him. Is it snow? It’s not cold enough for snow. Another blast. Chat darts, missing the brunt of the attack, but the white floating things keep falling around him. He’s about to call out a taunt to keep the akuma’s attention, but he feels his lungs constrict. He can’t breathe. Looking at his partner in a panic he sees Ladybug putting together a makeshift fishing rod from her lucky charm and items she has gathered from a street vendor’s cart. She casts it out and hooks the cape fluttering behind Looney Ben, the hiding place of the akuma butterfly. She reels and pulls, but something’s wrong. The line of the lucky charm breaks. That’s not supposed to happen. It’s never happened before. Her plan has failed! Ladybug’s plan never, _ ever _ fails. 

Looney Ben smiles smugly, flexing his wings back. He’s targeting her now, Chat realizes. Without thinking he plants his baton and vaults high up into the air, landing right in front of her. As the wind knocks them both off of their feet, he wraps his body around her, twisting his body to take the brunt of the fall and protecting her head with his hands. Lying on the ground he can feel her panting against him, but he can’t move. No breath. His heart is pounding so fast. It _ hurts _. As one settles on his shoulder, he realizes what they are now, the white things falling.

“_ Feathers… _ ” he thinks, “ _ from Looney Ben’s wings. Superheroes should fly after all. Why can’t I fly? Oh, right...cat’s don’t fly. Just as well, I’m allergic to feathers anyway. _” 

A wave of nausea hits him, overcoming his muddy thoughts, and he gasps, trying to breathe. Someone’s shouting. His head hurts. He hears a voice, but not with his ears. It’s _ inside _ his head.

“Now, I’ll show you _ your _ delusion!” the voice says.

The pain...in his head...blinding! His body spasms uncontrollably. His head hits something hard. More pain followed by a bright light. He squints. Voices, but this time around him, not inside him. He tries to concentrate on the voice, saying his name over and over again. He can feel himself being lifted up. It feels like he’s flying, then falling. Now, he’s still, lying down with his legs stretched out and something soft underneath his head. He can hear beeping. Is that his miraculous timing out? He’s going to transform back to Adrien. He needs to hide. No one can see his face. He opens his eyes, seeing someone he didn’t expect.

“Nathalie?” he asks in confusion. She’s his father’s assistant and in charge of his schedule, making sure he’s where he needs to be from school to private classes to photo shoots. What’s she doing in the middle of the akuma attack? She looks different, though. She’s wearing a white coat over her normal conservative black business suit. Her hair looks different, too, lacking the streak of red that highlights her otherwise black hair.

“Adrien? Can you hear me?” she asks.

He flinches. She knows his name, but he’s still transformed! Nathalie works for his father, she’ll tell him. She’ll tell _ Hawkmoth _! Fear floods his brain, spurring him to action. He tries to get up, to run or to fight, he’s not sure which, but hands press him back down. As he struggles he feel restraints being placed on his hands and then his feet. He’s being strapped down to a table or a bed, maybe? No matter, what does matter is that he can’t move, can’t escape! He can hear more voices, more words, but he can’t make them out; there are too many, all talking over each other. The light above him shines brightly, making his eyes tear. He closes them, straining against the brightness and the restraints.

“You’re okay. It’s okay,” she says. That’s a lie. He has to move. He has to go. More beeping. That’s definitely the timer on his miraculous. “You’re okay, Chaton. Breathe!”

The name registers and he stills. Only Ladybug calls him that. He opens his eyes.

“Ladybug?” he croaks. His throat feels sore and his mouth is dry. He blinks, grateful to see her there, hovering above him. “I thought…” he tries to explain, but she shushes him. With the back of her fingers she brushes his cheek.

“You okay?” she asks, a tremor in her voice. “You were gasping for air.”

He smiles. “You take my breath away, M’Lady,” he whispers hoarsely. His lungs still burn, but not as badly. The air is clear, no sign of feathers.

“You’re fine,” she concludes pushing his head off her lap with a laugh. Chat silently cheers. He made his lady laugh. Innocent flirting has always been part of their repartee. He knows that’s allowed. It’s the repeated confession of his love, that’s what he can no longer continue doing. “That akuma’s still out there. Can you fight?” she asks as she stands, searching the scene for where it might be hiding.

“Just give me a sec,” he says, shaking his head as if to rid the strange vision he had from his memory. He realizes he’s no longer on the street, but on a rooftop. How did he get there? His miraculous beeps and he looks at his ring. Only two pads left. “I need to recharge.”

“How is that possible?” she cries in surprise. “You didn’t use cataclysm.” Her own miraculous beeps.

He shrugs, standing hesitantly on his feet. He sways a bit, but catches himself with his baton. “You need to as well,” he says pointing to her earrings. She has three spots left.

“Feed your kwami and meet back here,” Ladybug states.

Chat gives a silent nod. Usually he’d make some quip about how he’ll be counting the minutes until he sees her again, but his mind is still too cloudy for him to fool around with clever word play. Using his baton, he drops down from the rooftop into an alleyway. Saying the magic words, he releases his transformation. He’s about to ask his kwami, Plagg, why his timer uncharacteristically ran out on his miraculous when he feels the world tilt beneath him. His vision is blurred and then blinded by light. A sharp pain stabs his head.

“Adrien?”

He’s back to lying horizontal. His arms and legs still bound to the bed. There’s an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

“Breathe deeply,” the figure above him says. It’s not Ladybug or Nathalie this time. It’s someone else, wearing green scrubs. “Just relax,” he says, “I’ve got you.” The reflection off of the figure’s glasses obscures his features. Adrien can’t tell who it is, but the voice is familiar and...comforting. His glasses flash again, reflecting the light and blinding him. He closes his eyes.

“I’ve got you _ now _.”

He opens his eyes, but the figure is gone, replaced with the akuma standing right in front of him in the alley way. Looney Ben smiles ominously. Reaching around to the small of his back for his baton, the blonde realizes he’s not transformed. He’s _ Adrien _.

“Ladybug!” he yells, hoping his partner is nearby.

Looney Ben takes aim. “Give me your miraculous!” the akuma demands.

“I don’t have one,” he responds in confusion. Why would the akuma demand it from him now that he’s back to his normal self? Had he seen him release his transformation?

“LIAR!” Looney Ben shouts. Adrien cringes, not knowing what’s in store. Instinctively he ducks, shielding his head with his hands. A purple mask encases the face of the akuma and he cries out in pain.

“NO!!!!!” Looney Ben screams, “I have him! He’s what you need! What_ I _ need!” He runs toward the brick wall, slamming his forehead brutally against it. A red stain quickly forms as he chants, “Get out of my head! Get out of my head!”

For a moment Adrien stands there in shock, watching Looney Ben bash his brains against the brick wall, trying to wrench control away from Hawkmoth. Blood pours out his open wounds, down his forehead into his eyes and mouth.

“Father!” Adrien calls, hoping that whatever the akuma hears, Hawkmoth can hear as well. “Father, please! Stop this! I know what you’re doing, but..._ please! Stop! _” Tears streak his cheeks as he pleads.

The purple mask fades from Looney Ben’s face and he stops his self harm. He squares up in front of Adrien, taking aim once again. Adrien prays for nuts. Let it be nuts, let it be anything, just not feathers. Before Looney Ben can attack, his gold and red superhero outfit disintegrates. A young man, perhaps four or five years older than Adrien, is left standing in a thin, white hospital gown, tattered brown slippers, and a blue and white striped bath towel tied around his neck. A small black and purple butterfly hovers above his head and then flutters up, up, up into the sky.

Adrien blinks. He’s been spared. They both have.

“Wh-where?” Ben sputters. “What?” His dull green eyes squint against the bright sunlight, keeping him from knowing where he stands. He brushes a hand through his tangled and bloodied blond hair and then down his neck. Both arms wrap protectively around his core. He looks scared.

“It’s okay,” Adrien says calmly and quietly, placing his hands up in a surrender position. “You’re safe now. No one’s going to harm you.”

\---o---

Using his phone Adrien contacts the police, who in turn contact the local hospital. They find out that the akuma victim, Ben, is a patient at Maison Blanche, a mental institution. Suffering under a delusion that he is a superhero, Ben, according to his doctor, Dr. Cinglé, had gone off his meds and had an outburst, making him susceptible to Hawkmoth’s powers. Adrien watches as Dr. Cinglé and two orderlies gently talk Ben into a waiting ambulance. 

Ladybug, who had returned to the scene, expecting to meet her partner to finish the battle, is surprised to find Adrien there. She’s unwilling to talk to him for some reason, brushing past him brusquely. Standing a little bit apart from the rest, he watches as the police fill her in on all that happened in her absence. She still has the broken lucky charm in her hand.

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” a police officer that Adrien recognizes as the father of one of his classmates asks him.

“Well, actually...” he hems, nervously rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. 

The officer points at the patrol car. “Get in. I’ll drive you.”

He complies, knowing he doesn’t have a good argument that any reasonable person would believe. Officer Raincomprix is a nice enough fellow and a fairly competent cop. As such, he would want some kind of proof to back up an accusation, but he has no evidence of his father’s true identity. Ladybug wouldn’t need any proof, she’d take Chat Noir at his word. He’d have to wait to tell her. He hopes he won’t have to wait too long to do so.

“_ Father knows _ ,” he thinks. “ _ He knows I know who he is _ .” He swallows hard, trying to hold back tears. Worry eats at his stomach. He shouldn’t have called out to his father like that. The one piece of leverage Adrien had over Garbiel was that the supervillia didn’t know that Adrien knows he’s Hawkmoth. That was gone now, traded to momentarily stop his control of the akuma victim. School is the last place he should be going. It’s where his father would surely find him. Adrien wonders how much trouble he is in and what punishment he would have to endure. There’s a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he already knows the answer to that question. He’ll take his miraculous and then he’ll be halfway to his goal. “ _ This is what you get for not telling Ladybug when you had your chance _.” 

As the car pulls away, he sees Ladybug launch her lucky charm up into the air. He can’t hear her over the police siren, but he knows she’s casting the Miraculous Ladybug spell, fixing everything that the akuma damaged.

\---o---

By the time Adrien and the officer arrive at his college, classes had already resumed. The all clear signal being sounded roughly 10 minutes ago, notifying those in the surrounding area that it was safe to return to normal activities, since the akuma had been cleansed. Or, at least that was what everyone assumed.There wasn’t a different signal for Hawkmoth having simply recalled his akuma and ending the battle abruptly. That had never happened before today.

The officer escorts him into class even though Adrien tries to insist that it isn’t necessary. At their appearance Mlle. Bustier pauses mid-sentence. All eyes are on him. The entire class lets out an “ooooh-oooh!” at seeing him being brought in by the police. The officer quietly explains to Mlle. Bustier why Adrien’s late and she signals for him to take his seat. He slides into the first row, keeping his head low. Normally, Nino, his best friend, would offer a fist bump as a greeting, but he wasn’t his best friend anymore, so he receives instead what could only be described as a disdainful tsk. Alya, sitting one row above him, shoots him daggers with one look. Chloe, his oldest friend, sitting across the aisle from him, pointedly sniffs the air and turns away, crossing her arms in front of her. The officer finally leaves but not before exchanging a wave and smile with his daughter. Mlle. Bustier resumes her lecture and Adrien tries to pretend that everything is fine despite his profuse sweating and the rapid pounding of his heart. He splits his attention between the door to the classroom and the window looking out onto the street. He anticipates the arrival of his father at any moment. He needs to get out of here.

Suddenly standing, he blurts, “Toilet!” Mlle. Bustier stops her lecture, looking up in confusion from her notes. His classmates giggle at his outburst. “I need the toilet,” he says more calmly. His teacher merely nods and indicates with her hand that he should go.

“Watcha need your bag for?” Alix calls from behind him, noting he still had his messenger bag looped over his head and one shoulder. He’d forgotten that he’d been carrying it this whole time, since it vanished when he transformed and his mind had been too occupied while untransformed.

“Maybe he’s not coming back,” Kim suggests.

“Good,” Alya huffs.

Adrien pays them no mind, eager to be free of the classroom and soon free of the school. If he can get out, then he can transform and hide until he can make contact with Ladybug. Maybe, if he’s lucky, she’s still at the scene of the akuma battle. Without even breaking his stride he grabs the hall pass from his teacher’s desk. He jumps what feels like 3 meters into the air as he comes face to face with Marinette Dupain-Cheng. It’s only by sheer luck they didn’t run into each other. She apparently is also late returning to class. For a second, she stands there immobilized by the unexpected sight of him, but then her eyes widen in recognition and fill with tears. She lowers her head, pulling one pigtail across her reddened cheek to hide her discomfort.

“Do you have a reason for being late, Marinette?” the teacher asks.

The girl can only shake her head in response, probably not trusting her voice to answer. Adrien curses himself. He knows he’s the reason for her distress. He has hurt her and, what’s worse is that he had done it on purpose.

When he arrived at school this morning, earlier than usual due to rushing through breakfast and hurrying his driver, he had hoped to find an empty classroom so he could finally talk to his kwami. So many questions ran through his mind.

“_ How the fuck is my father Hawkmoth? Does he know who I am? Does he know who Ladybug really is? Is she in danger? Am I? What am I going to do? Should I tell Ladybug? How can I _ _ not _ _ tell Ladybug? What is she going to do? I’m going to have to fight my father, aren’t I? How am I going to fight my own father? Maybe he’ll listen to reason? Maybe if I just talk to him? No, that’s stupid, he’ll never listen to me. Maybe he’ll listen to Ladybug...or Nathalie? Oh God, does Nathalie know? Does Gorilla? Fuck! He’s going to jail. I’m going to lose my father on top of losing my mother. Why the hell did he do this? All those people...he has hurt so many people! _”

To his dismay, when Adrien walked into his classroom he found it filled already with every single one of his classmates. His eyes went wide in surprise. 

“Morning,” he blurted, nervously rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. They all stared at him in awkward silence as if the words “Son of Hawkmoth” were tattooed across his forehead. With an anxious chuckle, he immediately turned around to escape to somewhere else, anywhere else, but Alya caught him by the arm.

“Hang on there, Sunshine,” she called with a twang in her voice. She slung an arm around his neck. “Marinette’s got somethin’ to tell ya.”

Adrien’s eyes focused on the raven-haired girl sitting before him. She looked ill to the point that Adrien was afraid she might keel over. There was sweat on her brow, making her bangs stick. Her eyes were wide and she’d chewed her bottom lip to such an extreme that it looked puffy, red, and raw.

“A-Adrien,” she stuttered out. Her arms flailed at her sides, but she managed to stand. WIth eyes downcast she squeaked out something unintelligible.

He should have just left it at that. He should have said, “Okay,” and left. Old habits die hard they say. What could be a more knee jerk reaction then to say, “What?” after not understanding what someone just said. That’s what Adrien did. And, that was a mistake.

He’s forcing her to repeat her words and she wasn’t prepared for that. Saying it the first time was hard enough. She visibly swallowed hard. Adrien was sure she was going to faint. The other kids in class encouraged her. “Come on, Marinette!” “Tell him!” “You can do it!” they all said.

“Go on, Dupain-Cheng!” Chloe scoffed. “Tell him. I _ dare _ you!”

“Yeah, we dare you!” Sabrina echoed from behind her blonde friend.

Adrien tried to discourage her, telling Marinette that she could tell him later, no big deal. Too late. It’s the challenge of her nemesis that lit a fire in Marinette’s eyes. She screwed up her courage, fists balled at her side, locking her eyes on Adrien. For a moment he forgot how to breathe, the very sight of her took Adrien’s breath away. He hasn’t seen her look at him like that since the first day they met, when she mistakenly thought he’d planted chewing gum on her seat. He didn’t know what he’d done this time or what she was going to say, but he knew he was in for it.

“_ I’m doomed _,” he thought.

“Adrien,” she said, clearly and without the slightest tremor or stutter.

He waited, holding his breath. Everyone in the room seemed to lean in closer. Rose, in her excitement, hopped up and down from her vantage point a few tiers above them as she held her girlfriend’s hand. Nathaniel’s head was buried in his sketch pad, looking up only periodically to reference the scene before recording Adrien’s inevitable demise for posterity. Max kept pushing buttons on his graphing calculator and shaking his head, no doubt calculating Adrien’s chance of survival. He couldn’t help but wonder how bad the odds were against him. He suddenly realized that Alya had let go of his neck and had backed up a step while pushing him forward at the same time. He cringed slightly, knowing the worst was to come.

“I like you.”

Adrien blinked. Surely he’d misheard her.

“I like you, Adrien,” Marinette repeated.

A sunny smile spread across his face as his shoulders relaxed. “I like you, too, Marinette,” he replied. She beamed brightly as pink spread across her cheeks. “Afterall, you are one of my closest friends.”

The whole room groaned. Nino’s hands covered his head, which was the only thing that prevented Alya from taking his hat and eating it out of frustration. Alix slapped her forehead with her hand. Kim shook his head disapprovingly. The calculator dropped from Max’s hands with a thud. Rose stopped her bouncing, Juleka rolled her eyes, while Mylene shared a knowing look with Ivan. Obnoxious snickering from Chloe, Sabrina, and Lila filled his ear. Undeterred, Nathaniel continued to frantically draw, intent on capturing every emotion. Adrien knew he had said the wrong thing, based on their reactions, but worst of all was that the smile that had made Marinette shine so brightly had completely disappeared, replaced with worry lines across her face. She started chewing her bottom lip again.

“No, see…” Rose piped up, “she _ like _ likes you.”

“_ Like likes? _” he thought, not understanding.

“Ugh! What are we? Ten?” Chloe asked rhetorically in exasperation. “She’s in love with you!”

“She’s not in love with me!” Adrien chuckled. He had already asked Marinette weeks ago if she had a crush on him. When Jagged Stone taped a baking show at her house, the rocker and the camera crew accidently stumbled into her bedroom. As a result, he, as well as the rest of the viewing audiece, had seen lots of modeling photos of him hung up on her bedroom wall . However, when he asked her about it, Marinette had flatly denied having any romantic feelings for him, explaining that she had those photos only because she’s a fan of fashion, not him. Her answer hadn’t hurt his feelings, since he’s in love with Ladybug. Actually, he didn’t really think Marinette liked him, since he knew she had gone on a date with Luka. He just wanted to tease her a little bit.

“Um...actually…” the nervous girl squeaked as she nibbled on her lip.

“Wait...you do?” he asked in surprise, his laughter dying in his mouth.

She nodded her head and then anxiously looked at him. The whole room looked at him. Waiting. For him to say something. Anything.

“Oh,” was all he’s able to manage, the shock, silencing him. A tinge of pink grew across his cheeks. It was certainly flattering to think that she liked him, both sides of him as a matter of fact, since she had also confessed to Chat Noir not all that long ago. She looked decidedly more nervous to tell Adrien than Chat Noir.

“Dude…” Nino breathed and gestured for him to say something more.

His eyes flicked to all of the expectant faces. They had to do this with an audience? No wonder Marinette looked nervous. He felt nervous, too, his hand reaching up on its own accord to rub the back of his neck to stall for time. He didn’t want to hurt her. He really did like her, just not that way. He loves Ladybug, even if she doesn’t love him. In his heart he knows that his spotted partner is the only girl for him. He knows he’s meant to protect her, to love her, to be by her side. To date Marinette when he feels this way about his lady would be unfair to her and she deserves to be loved whole-heartedly.

“Could we...um, talk privately?” he asked Marinette, gesturing toward the classroom door. He’d just have to let her down easily. That shouldn’t be too hard. He’d already rejected her when she confessed to his superhero alter ego. She had taken it well then. He would just say the same thing and all would be fine. They would still be friends. Afterall, he was still friends with her as Chat Noir.

“Ha! I knew it!” Chloe cheered snidely. “There’s _ no way _Adrien would ever date you, Dupain-Cheng.”

“Yeah, no way!” Sabrina agreed, shaking her head violently.

“Shut up, Chloe!” Alya snapped.

Adrien threw his blonde friend a harsh look. “Seriously, Chloe? Can you just stay out of it?”

“Don’t feel bad, Marinette,” Lila condescended with a pat on her shoulder. “Adrien’s used to a certain caliber of women: glamorous, beautiful, charming. That’s why he asked me out. He can’t help how he feels anymore than you can. Besides, unrequited love is so pathetic. Best you know the truth.”

“The truth?” Adrien scoffed. “That’s rich coming from you, Lila.”

Everyone except Marinette and Chloe gasped in surprise.

“What’s _ that _ supposed to mean?” Alya accused with her hands on her hips.

He could feel the cold hard stares from his classmates. Oh, Adrien had done it now! He’d messed with the class’s sweetheart. Nevermind that she’s a total liar. He looked to Marinette for help; she’s the only other person that knows Lila hasn’t told the truth once since she started attending their college. He saw only hurt and confusion in Marinette’s eyes. The flame that had burned so brightly just a moment ago having been doused by his retitance to affirm her love.

He straightened, throwing his shoulders back, deciding not to back down. Normally, he’d let Lila get away with her lies because they were only told to either make herself look good or sympathetic. But, now she’s telling lies to hurt Marinette and he wouldn’t stand for that, especially since his silence would make him compicent in the lie he knew not to be true. “You know perfectly well we did _ not _ go out on a date, Lila. Nor would I ever date you.”

“I can’t believe you would deny it!” Lila cried, fake tears forming in her eyes. “You told me I was special! _ You’re _ the liar!”

“Whatever, Lila,” he sighed, finding it not worth the effort to fight her. She would say and do whatever she pleased, but he didn’t have to stand there and take it. “I’m done with this.” He turned to go, choosing to wait in the bathroom until the bell rings for class.

“Adrien?”

He turned back, finding Marinette still waiting for a reply. His face softened and he bowed his head slightly, hoping that she will understand. “I’m sorry, Marinette, but…”

“But you’re not good enough,” Chloe filled in. “It’s ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! You and Adrien! Ha! As if Gabriel Agreste would ever allow his only son to date you!”

A protest was on the tip of Adrien’s tongue. He wanted to silence Chloe once and for all. To say to her in front of everyone that actually he’s not good enough for Marinette because she’s wonderful: smart, talented, pretty, funny, kind, thoughtful, brave, and so many more adjectives that would take too long to list. But, he swallowed down his words.

It’s his father’s name that stopped him, catching him off guard. For a moment, he had forgotten, too consumed by the drama of the current scene, but now it all came crashing down around him. His father is Hawkmoth. His father is dangerous and by association, Adrien is dangerous...to everyone he knows, everyone he cares about. He looked around the room at his friends and classmates. Every one of them had been akumatized by his father, everyone except Marinette. Maybe he can save her. Maybe he can save them all.

“I’m in love with someone,” he said simply to the trembling girl before him. “But, it’s not you, Marinette.”

“Exactly!” Chloe crowed.

“It’s not you either, Chloe,” he continued. “Nor you, Lila. Not any of you.” He looked down at the floor, gathering the courage to say what he must, before raising his head with a determined gaze. “None of you are good enough...not even to be my friend.”

“Dude! What the…”

Adrien cut Nino off before he can finish, “My friends, my _ true _ friends wouldn’t ambush me like this! They wouldn’t back me into a corner.”

“That’s not what we’re doing!” Alya argued.

“I never should have come to this school. I never should have lowered my standards to such depths. To be friends with you…” He had to do it. For their sake, he had to push them away. “...you, low-class _ scum _ ! _ That _really is ridiculous!” 

A din of discord exploded around him. He couldn’t make out they’re words, but he shouted them down anyway.

“You’re wannabes! Always striving for attention! Trying to be noticed, but you’re worthless!” he cried, pointing at Marinette, Nino, and Alya. “Or, posers! Always bragging and lying! Claiming to be the best, but achieving nothing!” he shouted, calling out Chloe and Lila. “And you, not even interesting enough to be worth knowing!” he gestured to the rest of the group. “You’re just background, space fillers. If you dropped dead, no one would care or even notice!”

The group lurched toward him and he knew he’s about to get punched or worse. It would just be a matter of who would get to him first: Kim or Ivan or Alix, or most likely Alya. He braced himself for what he deserved.

“STOP!” a voice cried out just as he felt rough hands take hold of him. “What is going on here?” Mlle. Bustier asked, swiftly hurrying through the classroom door. Her students erupted with accusations, fingers pointing at him. The teacher tried to calm them, so that she can understand what happened and try to arbitrate a reconciliation. Her efforts were cut short by the sound of the akuma warning alarm. Anxiously, Adrien looked around him, wondering if he had gone too far. He had only meant to dissuade them from being his friend any longer, not to get them akumatized. He felt relieved to find that none of them had been evilized by his father. Alya announced after a quick check of her phone that a Ladyblog tipster reported that an akuma had been seen at the mental hospital, about four blocks away. With quick efficiency Mlle. Bustier hustled them out of the classroom, encouraging them to hurry to safety at the assembly point.

“Saved by the bell,” Kim snarked at him as he brushed past him, hitting him with his shoulder.

“To be continued,” Alix promised, slapping her fist into the palm of her other hand.

“Oh, Adrien!” was all that Rose managed to say, as Juleka led her away. The rest just ignored him as they filed past him, Chloe with her nose in the air and Lila still fake crying.

“I thought I knew you, Dude,” Nino sighed hoarsely. “I guess I was wrong.”

“Stay. Away. From. Us.” Alya crisply commanded as she led Marinette with one hand on each shoulder.

The broken hearted girl’s red rimmed eyes never left him as she moved away. “This isn’t you,” Marinette whispered. Her words echoed in his ears as he stood alone in the now emptied classroom. Surprisingly, it’s Plagg that reminded him there’s an akuma loose and he should be transforming.

After the akuma battle Adrien hadn’t really expected to be returning to school, but Officer Raincomprix had other plans for him. Now, coming face to face with Marinette again, a mere hour after his rejection of her, he can still hear her words, “This isn’t you.”

She’s not moving. Neither is he. Standing just in front of the threshold, Marinette is blocking his only exit. Similarly, Adrien’s position is preventing her from taking her seat. They are at an impasse. He wants to tell her how sorry he is. He wants to take back all of those hateful words he said earlier. He wants to apologize and beg her to forgive him, to be his friend again.

“Marinette?” Mlle. Bustier prompts. “You can take your seat now. Adrien, you may use the bathroom.”

Now, he remembers. He was in the process of making his escape when he ran into Marinette.

“Better hurry before you piss yourself,” Kim jeers. The class bursts into laughter despite their teacher’s scolding. Awkwardly, but quickly Marinette scoots past him and hurries to her seat next to Alya.

He should be leaving. Why won’t his feet work? A bright light fills his vision and his world tilts.

“Time for your drugs,” a figure dressed in green standing to one side of him says. It startles Adrien and he jumps in surprise. The figure’s holding a clear plastic bag that contains some fluid, which he’s hooking on to something shiny above him and just out of his line of sight. The bag hovers, swaying slightly. He tries to understand what’s going on.

“Wha?” Adrien asks, but before he receives a response the light flashes again, blinding him for a brief moment.

“I _ said _ ,” Nino replies hautily, “‘If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you were on drugs.’” His classmates laugh at that, but it doesn’t register with the blond. Adrien stares at Nino, bewildered with eyes blown wide. He’s had another vision... _ after _ Ladybug casted her Miraculous Ladybug charm.

“It can’t be,” Adrien mumbles to himself. This shouldn’t be happening. The charm always puts everything back as it was before the akuma. Something’s wrong. He looks around him in wonder. A moment ago he had been lying flat on his back in what he now realizes is a hospital. How did he get back in his classroom? How did he leave in the first place? “I need…” he moans, holding his head. It’s so confusing, the moving back and forth between two places, two worlds, two...realities? He looks up, finding Mlle. Bustier’s concerned face.

“I think you should go to the nurse, Adrien,” his professor instructs him. “Can someone please escort him?”

“No!” he practically yells, flinching away from her, but then remembering himself he says more quietly and with a nervous laugh, “I can find it myself.” He hurries out the door and down the hall. Pausing only to ditch his phone in a hallway trash can, he heads straight out the side door. He needs help, but not the kind of help that the school’s nurse can provide.

“_ I gotta find Ladybug _,” Adrien says to himself. In the alleyway, he transforms and leaps away using his baton.

If he had been paying attention, Chat Noir might have seen his family’s town car pull up to the curb outside of the school. A moment later a tall, platinum blond figure emerges with a very sober expression.

“We need to find Adrien, Nathalie,” Gabriel Agrestse states matter-of-factly. His keen blue eyes scan the front facade of the school. “We need to find him _ now _.”


	2. Reality Check

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette nurses a broken heart. Gabriel searches for his son. Adrien finds himself in another world, populated with familiar faces, one of which he never thought he'd see again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to AvrilR Maria for beta reading! This fic doesn't seem very popular, low on hits, kudos, and comments. Oh well! *shrugs* I'm almost done writing it, so I'm not gonna stop now. For those of you that are reading it, I hope you enjoy it and THANK YOU!!!! :)

On any other day Marinette would be daydreaming about her future with Adrien. “Mme. Marinette Dupain-Cheng-Agreste” and similar variants would be painstakingly scrawled over and over again in her notebook in loopy cursive. Instead of class notes, sketches of her wedding dress, their house, and their future children at various ages would fill its pages. A list of names for their pet hamster might occupy her thoughts rather than the names of important French Revolutionists.

However, today is different. Marinette is determined not to think about Adrien, and yet try as she might, he keeps invading her thoughts. His cruel words and his harsh tone of voice play on repeat inside her brain. Every time she closes her eyes, she can see his indifferent stare, his set jaw. She means nothing to him, not even as a friend.

“ _ He’s not worth crying over _ ,” she tries to convince herself, yet her constant sniffling says otherwise. She had debated with herself about even returning to class after the akuma battle, but her pride wouldn’t let her cower and hide. He did wrong, not her. If anyone should be uncomfortable or feel ashamed, then it should be him. His behavior is unforgivable, insulting everyone like that!

It occurs to her that perhaps when she sees him again, maybe, just maybe, Adrien would change his mind. He’d fall on his knees, beg for her forgiveness, and profess his undying love to her. She imagines different scenarios for her response. In the first, she rebuffs him, crushing his heart as thoroughly as he crushed hers with a few choice words and a haughty look. In the second, she neither forgives nor admonishes him. She plays it cool while at the same time indicating her continued interest with a few choice flirty words that makes Adrien’s headspin in a ridiculous spectacle of love and desire. Finally, in the last scenario, she forgives him magnanimously, agreeing to forgive and forget as they both fall to their knees with tears streaming down their cheeks and pledges of love falling quickly from their lips. Marinette wants to forgive him...so desperately, if only he would apologize!

“ _ That’s unlikely, _ ” she thinks, wiping her runny nose with the back of her hand. She had never seen Adrien so angry before. At most he’s only ever been a bit annoyed or a trifle frustrated, but never angry. She blames herself, knowing that she shouldn’t of confessed to him with everyone watching. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. Marinette had only told Alya of her intention to tell Adrien, so that her best friend could give her a gentle nudge if needed and keep her honest to fulfill her promise. Of course, Alya had told her boyfriend, Nino. Rose and Juleka had overheard their conversation and, Rose, being the idealistic romantic that she is, couldn’t contain her excitement and blabbed it to anyone and everyone who would listen. When Marinette arrived this morning she was just as dismayed as Adrien to see so many ready witnesses to her confession, but it was too late to back out. If she did, then she’d be branded a coward. Chloe and Lila would never let her live it down; so she charged ahead, hoping for the best, but fearing the worst. Her fears were validated and then some. Adrien’s reaction was not only unexpected, but completely out of character for him. She knew she wasn’t good enough for him and figured she would receive a rejection, but for him to break up with all of his friends, even Nino! It felt too crazy to be true, as if the world had turned upside down and inside out, making her feel towards Adrien in ways that were normally reserved for Chloe or Lila or even Hawkmoth. She didn’t want to count Adrien as one of her enemies, but his behavior today certainly proved he was no friend. 

With a jump, her heartbroken reverie is disrupted by the sudden appearance of all people, Adrien’s father! Without so much as a knock he charges the room, demanding to see his son. Mlle. Bustier explains that he looked ill and she had excused him to go first to the bathroom and then to the school’s nurse. With a snap of his fingers Gabriel Agreste sends Adrien’s bodyguard, fondly nicknamed “Gorilla” by his charge, and his assistant, Nathalie, to seek out the boy.

Alya leans over and whispers in Marinette’s ear, “Wonder what TwoFace did?” That’s Alya’s new nickname for Adrien. He’s no longer fondly called “Sunshine Boy”. The other girl can only shrug, but her interest is piqued, and she feels a bit worried for him. It’s no secret that Gabriel expects a lot from his son. Adrien is supposed to be the best in everything that he does; from school to fencing, piano playing and modeling. Marinette pushes that worry out of her heart, remembering that she’s meant to be mad at him.

The school’s principal, M. Damocles, thanks Mlle. Bustier for her help and gestures to the door, an indication that he wishes for M. Agreste to join him in the hall, no doubt to allow the class to resume. However, it seems the elder Agreste has other ideas. He turns to the students.

“Did any of you speak to Adrien today?” M. Agreste asks. A few of the students nod or raise a hand in response. “Did he say anything... _ unusual _ ?”

Marinette’s eyes lower, remembering their encounter from this morning. Nino turns around and locks eyes with Alya. The other students have similar responses, but no one volunteers any information.

“Did he say anything about me?” M. Agreste presses.

“No, he didn’t,” replies Chloe. “If he did, I’m sure he would have told me. We’re very close, you know.” She flips her ponytail to indicate her importance.

“You mean you  _ were _ ,” Alix mumbles, but the rest of the room hears, and the students giggle. Chloe frowns at the other girl and tells her to “Shut it!”

“What  _ did _ he say?” the imposing man demands, arching an eyebrow. 

The students shift uncomfortably in their seats. Kim coughs. Marinette bows her head, a tear escaping before she can brush it away. 

“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important,” M. Agreste continues, his fingers tapping impatiently against his folded arm. Reading the room, he knows instinctively that they are holding back. He sighs, dropping his arms. “I know Adrien was at the akuma battle today. A point I have already discussed at length with your principal,” he remarks curtly. M. Damocles begins to protest, flustered by the implied accusation of negligence, but M. Agreste silently holds up one hand to stop him. Turning back to the students, he makes a surprisingly heartfelt confession. “I’m just trying to understand...I want to help. He’s not in any trouble.”

“He should be,” Alix quips. 

M. Agrete’s head snaps up, his blue, steely eyes locking onto the sassy girl. “Explain,” he orders.

Alix gulps under his stare, but then rallys, her own determined eyes meeting her interrogator’s. “Adrien...he insulted us,  _ all  _ of us!”

“What do you mean? What did he say?”

“He said we might as well drop dead,” Juleka mumbles in her quiet way.

“He called us scum!” Rose blubbers, her tender heart not being able to withstand such abuse.

“He said we aren’t worthy to be his friends. We’re wannabes and posers and not worth knowing,” Alya sums up efficiently. “And, believe me, the feeling is mutual.” She crosses her arms decidedly.

M. Agreste looks taken aback by these revelations, but quickly recovers, thanking the students politely for their candor. He turns to M. Damocles as if to say something, when Gorilla and Nathalie hurry back inside the classroom.

“We can’t find him,” Nathalie declares. “Adrien’s not in any of the men’s rooms and he’s not with the nurse.”

Rocking back on his heels, M. Agreste pales, his hand coming up to feel the silk neckerchief tied just below his chin. “We have to find him,” he rasps. “Nathalie! You said the GPS locator on his phone shows he’s here.”

“It still does,” she confirms, frowning at the display screen of her own phone.

“Quickly! I want the whole school searched from top to bottom!” He snaps his fingers at M. Damocles. The grey-haired man straightens his shoulders, saluting in his confusion before bustling down the corridor, presumably to give his own orders. Gorilla and Nathalie quickly follow, but before M. Agreste can leave a question stops him.

“M. Agreste?” Marinette squeaks, standing up at her desk. “What’s wrong? Why are you so worried? Has something happened to Adrien?”

“I’m not sure, but yes, I believe so. In any case, I mean to find out.” With sure steps, he marches out the door and down the hallway. 

Marinette has never been one to sit back when she knows she can help. Even though Adrien hurt her, she doesn’t wish any real ill against him. Whatever is wrong, she wants to help. She exchanges a look with Nino and knows he feels the same. 

“Mlle. Bustier,” they say in unison. 

“We want to help,” Nino pleads.

“Please, Mademoiselle. We can help look,” Marinette suggests. 

A gentle smile floats on their teacher’s lips. “That’s a very kind and caring suggestion,” she praises. “We should all help.” She gestures for everyone to stand up.

“Why should we?” Lila asks, not moving. “He obviously doesn’t care about  _ us _ .”

“Whatever happened this morning, we need to set that aside for now,” Marinette explains rationally. “We need to find Adrien and make sure he’s safe.”

“Yeah,” Alix smirks, rising from her seat. “Then, we can kill him! Kidding!” she laughs holding up her hands in surrender at the death stare Marinette is throwing her way. 

“You think he’s okay?” Rose worries, wringing her hands.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Juleka soothes, slinging an arm over her shoulder and bringing her close for a squeeze as they descend from the top landing.

“He probably just ran away again,” Kim shrugs following them, “like at Christmas.”

Marinette, now in full Ladybug mode, hands out assignments to the group, which she justifies over Chloe’s protests as the duty of being class rep. Alya will post a notice on the Ladyblog, asking people to report any sightings of the famous model. Sabrina will contact her father and find out what help the police can provide. Kim, Alix, and Max will search the top floor of the school, while Lila, Chloe, and Nathaniel should look on the second floor. Marinette assigns the bottom floor to Ivan, Mylene, and Mlle. Bustier. 

“What about me, Dude?” Nino asks excitedly. 

“I want you to call and text Adrien,” she responds. “If he’s gonna respond to anyone, then it’ll be you,” she reasons, since Nino is his best friend.

A few minutes into their search, she hears a ringing from one of the hallway’s trash cans. Curious, she lifts off the swinging lid and peers in. A shiver runs up her spine as she picks up the discarded cell phone. Swiping the screen with one finger, she brings it to her ear.

“Dude! I was so worried! Where are ya, bro?” 

She recognizes the voice through the speaker. “Nino? We’ve got a problem.” 

\-----o------

Panting, Chat Noir leans back against the cold tile wall. The combative odors of piss, feces, mold, and rot fill his nose, making him gag and heave. The sewers certainly aren’t the most attractive place to hide, but he can at least be assured of solitude. He’s been here once before when Hawkmoth was at his strongest and it kept him and Ladybug safe. Hopefully, It will do so now.

He had returned to the scene of Looney Ben’s attack, but he found that Ladybug as well as the police had already left. He tried to contact her through the communicator on his baton, but he could tell she wasn’t transformed. Forced to leave her a voicemail message, he at least made sure to succinctly tell her what she needed to know. He had seen enough movies to know that a delay in relaying important information was just a plot device that favored the villain. He wouldn’t give his father any advantages.

“M’Lady, Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth. I think he knows I know, or at least that my civilian self knows. I’m hiding out in the same place we used on Hero’s Day, but I’m hurt from Looney Ben’s attack. I don’t know why, but your Miraculous Ladybug cure didn’t work. I keep having visions of being...somewhere else, a hospital, I think. Call me as soon as you get this. Be careful, Bugaboo!”

Feeling a bit relieved to have at least unburdened his heart to Ladybug’s voicemail, Chat Noir sinks down allowing his butt to meet the pavement with a thump. His head drops down as his shoulders sink.

“Plagg, claws in!” he whispers dejectedly. A green light fills the tunnel of the sewer. As it fades Adrien Agreste is now sitting in Chat Noir’s place. The small, black cat kwami zooms out of his magic ring and hovers right before his chosen’s nose.

“You okay, kid?” he asks. “You look like drama and a headache.” He sniffs the air. “You smell worse.”

“We’re in the sewer,” Adrien deadpans, not looking up.

“What’s this ‘we’? I’m not the one who flushed his social life down the toilet!” Plagg’s muffled voice sounds through the fabric of the boy’s messenger bag.

With a moan, Adrien looks up at his kwami and then rests his head against the cool wall behind him. “I was trying to protect them.”

“From your father?” he asks popping out of the bag with a wedge of camembert cheese in hand.

“And from me.”

“Gotta tell ya, kid,” he smacks as he eats, “I don’t see how them being mad at you is gonna keep them safe.” Plagg shook his head. “If they’re mad, then they’re more vulnerable to Hawkmoth’s akumas.”

“I know...I know.” His head lands in his hands.”I just meant to keep them away from me. I screwed up real bad.”

“I’ll say!” Plagg agrees, but then seeing Adrien’s face twisted in pain, he adds, “Hey, we all screw up!”

“Ever since I said what I said, I’ve had this painful hole inside of me, and I’m the idiot that dug it out!” He wraps his arms protectively around his waist, as if to hold in his insides.

"Don’t worry! You’ll apologize, they’ll forgive you. And, even if they don’t, ya still got me,” he comforts him with a hug to Adrien’s cheek.

“Thanks, Plagg,” Adrien strokes his head with one finger. “But, that’s not my only problem. There’s my father and these visions…”

As if on cue, Adrien feels that same tilt and sees the same bright light.

“Can you hear me?”

“What is this?” he asks the voice as his eyes flutter open. There’s a bright light shining above him, making his eyes squint. His own voice sounds strange to his ears, deeper and unfamiliar.

“Do you know where you are?”

“Nathalie?” he asks confused. “No, I…” He looks around the room, but most of it is cast in shadows. He sees monitors that he’s attached to via various wires. “I don’t know this place. How did I get here?” He sits up and removes the tube from his nose. Seeing the IV in his arm he asks, “Am I hurt?”

“You’re in a mental institution,” Nathalie states matter-of-factly. 

Fear washes over him at hearing the unexpected information.He shakes his head. “No, that’s not right. I’m not...I shouldn’t be here.”

She’s looking at him very carefully, holding a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other. “You recognize me, though?”

He nods, dumbly. “Nathalie Sancouer, my father’s assistant.”

“I’m actually your doctor,” she corrects. She’s wearing a white coat over a dark gray suit. “What year is it?”

“It’s, um...twenty, uh…” He frowns. This shouldn’t be a hard question.

“Adrien,” she says gently, “how old are you?”

“Fourteen,” he replies, but seeing her face fall, he knows he’s mistaken. “That’s wrong, isn’t?”

“You’re seventeen. You’ve been with us for three years. Do you remember?”

He shakes his head. Three years... _ three year _ s? Tears begin to well up in his eyes. His heart is pounding fast and he can feel it pulse in his ears. His hands begin to tremble. Oh God! A darkness feels like it’s taking over his thoughts.

“ _ You’re crazy! _ ” he thinks. “ _ They think you’re crazy! _ ”

“Doctor!” a stern voice barks. “Enough of these questions. I want some answers! I demand to know what happened to my son and what you are doing about it!”

Adrien realizes that he and the doctor are not the only ones in the room. His father is there, tall and foreboding. His finger slashes at the air as he talks, like a villain brandishing his sword.

“Stay away from me!” Adrien cringes, bringing his knees up against his chest.

“Adrien!” his father steps forward, arms outstretched.

“He’s the mad one! Akumatizing people!  _ He _ should be locked up!” Adrien accuses. “Not me!”

“Adrien, calm down,” Nathalie soothes. “This is your father. He’s not going to hurt you.”

“Yes, he will! He already has! He’s hurt everyone!” He screams, kicking off the covers and jumping to his feet.

Nathalie steps to one side and flips a switch.

“And you’re working for him!” Adrien continues, pointing at her. He grabs the line in his arm and pulls it out. Pain sears his flesh and blood begins to drip from the wound. “You know, don’t you? You know he’s Hawkmoth!”

“He’s not Hawkmoth, Adrien,” Nathalie corrects. “Hawkmoth is part of your delusion; he’s not real.”

“Why?” Adrien demands of his father, as the tears fall from his eyes. He steps towards them, as they retreat. “Why are you doing this?”

More people are in the room now. They grab his arms, trying to get him back to bed. He recognizes their faces.

“Nino! Kim! I’m so sorry!” He pleads, grabbing hold of his friends’ arms in return. “Please forgive me!”

“It’s okay, dude,” Nino soothes, making eye contact while still holding him firmly. “I need you to calm down for me, okay, bro?”

“Nino!” Adrien sobs. “I’m in trouble! I need your help!”

“I know, man, I’m here to help, but I need you to help me, okay? Can you calm down?”

“Nooooo!” he wails, continuing to struggle against them. “They’re gonna hurt me. He’s gonna hurt me! He wants my ring!”

“You ain’t got one!” Kim puffs as he keeps the irate patient from leaving. “See for yourself!”

Adrien lets go of Kim and holds up his right hand before his eyes. His silver miraculous should be on the third finger, instead he sees that a black square with a green paw print has been drawn on his skin with what looks to be magic markers. 

“Hospital regulations, no jewelry,” Kim states matter-of-factly.

“No,” he breathes. His certainty is shook. The fight has left him. His body goes limp. Kim and Nino lift him back in bed.

“Stay,” Kim orders, “or we’ll have to strap you down again.”

Adrien stares at them for a moment and then nods silently. They step back and turn to the doctor, awaiting her orders. Before she can say anything, someone rushes forward.

“Kitten!” she cries, a cool hand gently brushing his cheek.

“Maman?” he asks in surprise. “Is it...is it really you?”

“Yes, Kitten, I’m here.” She takes his hand and kisses the back of it. “I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you, too, Maman…:” His voice cracks on the last word. He feels her arms gently embrace him. Burying his face in her neck, he smells the familiar scent of her perfume. For so long he has dreamed of this, to hug his missing mother just one more time. “So much!”

\-----o------

“Chat Noir?” Ladybug calls. Her voice echoes back to her ears and she can hear her own nervousness. She takes a breath, trying to calm herself. “Are you here?” Every nerve is a tingle, all her senses heightened. She peers down one of the dark tunnels, listening for a response. None comes. She can’t quite remember which tunnel they used the last time they were here. She thinks it’s this one, but it’s so dark and they all basically look the same. They all smell the same, too. She gags, coughs, and then spits. Wiping her mouth with the side of her hand, she takes a few more steps and then she cries out his name again. Still no answer.

Fear begins to take hold of her as thoughts of what might be invade her mind. She had transformed with the intention of looking for Adrien, but then she listened to Chat’s message. Knowing that her partner is hurt, she changed targets and hurried to the sewers as fast as her yo-yo would swing her. She can only hope and pray that she’ll be in time to help him. Uncertain of how he’s injured, she doesn’t know what to expect. He could be dead for all she knows. Ladybug shakes her head, thinking like that won’t help, she tells herself. She needs to find Chat and get him help. Then, they both can find Adrien and get him help. Finally, they can stop Hawkmoth if he really is Gabriel Agreste, which she’s not too sure about, but that’s something to figure out later. Chat is the top priority. As loudly as she can, she calls his name.

“Over here!” a voice replies, but it’s not Chat Noir. The voice isn’t unfamiliar either. A small black figure with large green eyes phases through a wall, appearing right before her nose. 

“Plagg?” she asks in surprise. “Where’s Chat Noir? What’s happened?”

“He’s over here, but I can’t wake him. Something’s wrong!” With a zip, the kwami darts down the tunnel and disappears through a side passageway. Ladybug follows, seeing that the passage connects to another tunnel. She finds a dark figure lying on his side, his back is to her with his blond hair covering his face.

Turning away suddenly, shielding her face with her hands and freezing in place, she realizes, “He’s not transformed!”

“Obviously!” Plagg snarks with an eye roll. “Come on! He needs help!”

Ladybug hesitates. As much as she wants to help her partner, at the same time she knows deep within her that protecting their identities is the most important aspect of being a superhero. It’s rule Number One, ingrained in her from the start by her very own kwami. Luckily, Chat Noir, or rather Not-Chat Noir, makes the decision for her.

“Plagg?” he moans, holding his head in his hands. A second later, she can hear him vomiting. He coughs, sputters, and then sniffs. “Ugh…this sucks! I wanna die.”

“Later,” Plagg answers. “Ladybug’s here.”

Without thinking Not-Chat Noir’s face snaps up, peering into the darkness, but Ladybug still has her hands over her face. “M’Lady?” he croaks.

“I’m here, Chat,” she says between her fingers. “Can you transform so we can talk?”

There’s some whispering between her partner and his kwami, but she can’t make it out. She can only assume that Plagg’s not happy about being sidelined. The whispering continues for a moment longer, and then a flash of green light invades her vision despite her closed eyes.

“Okay, I’m Chat now,” he responds.

Slowly Ladybug lowers her hands and she can see the bright green cat eyes of her partner glowing in the darkness. She smiles and moves quickly toward him. He warns her of the mess he’s just made, and she helps him to his feet to move him away from it. He sways a bit and leans heavily on her. She lowers him down to the ground again in a new, relatively clean spot.

“Chat, what’s wrong? What’s going on?” she asks with concern. She feels his cheek with the back of her hand, but she forgets for a second about her super suit. It doesn’t allow her to ascertain if he’s feverish, chilled or normal temperature. Her keen eyes travel over him, finding his bangs plastered to his forehead from sweat and his face appears flushed. She presses her lips against his temple. “You’re burning up!”

“A kiss from you sets my heart a flame, M’Lady,” he quips, but the normal bravado with which he usually flirts is absent.

“Be serious,” she chastises. “What happened?”

He shakes his head, unsure. “The akuma hit me…somehow…with his mind, I think. He said he’d show me ‘my delusion’, whatever that means. I keep flashing to somewhere else…hallucinating.”

“But the Miraculous Ladybug spell…” She frowns, trying to reason out the problem. “It should have fixed you.”

“I know!” he moans, “But, it didn’t.” He leans his head back against the wall.

“What do you see when you, ya know, go somewhere else?” she asks, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. Her spell has never not worked before. She needs to ask Tikki why it didn’t work, but first things first: she needs more information.

“I was in a hospital, a mental institution, I think. There was a doctor and nurses. They told me I’m sick. Crazy, I guess. They said this isn’t real.” He looks up, confusion clouding his eyes.

“Hey,” she murmurs, trying to reassure him. “Take my hand. Don’t I feel real?” she asks as she squeezes his hand in hers.

“Yes,” he replies quickly, squeezing her hand in return, “but it felt real there, too. And, my…my mother was there.” The memory of seeing his mother after so long of an absence thrills him while at the same time causes him pain. He knows it’s an illusion, but he doesn’t want it to be.

Ladybug frowns, about to ask why his mother being there would be important, when he grabs his head again. He squeezes his eyes shut, wincing in pain. In horror, she sees his body go limp as he slumps against her.

“Chat? CHAT!” she cries, batting his cheek with her hand. No response.

\------o------

A flash of light fills his vision and when it dissipates, Adrien’s somewhere new. There’s a large desk, behind which Nathalie sits. He himself is sitting in a straight backed chair with cloth covered arm rests. He looks right and left, finding his parents sitting on either side of him.

“So this new medicine,” his mother says, “it seems to be working. He recognized us.”

“Maman?” he squeaks in surprise. Covering his embarrassment, Adrien clears his throat, trying to get back to the deeper tone of his seventeen year old voice even though at times it fails him.

“Yes, Kitten, I’m here,” she says squeezing his hand in hers. He squeezes back, finding the contact comforting. It feels just as real to him as when Ladybug squeezed his hand a moment ago.

“Yes, he does appear more lucid,” Dr. Nathalie responds as she adjusts her glasses on her nose. “However, it also triggered an allergic reaction.”

“There must be...” his father frowns as he thinks. “A lower dosage, perhaps?”

“Perhaps…” the doctor hums, eyeing Adrien closely. “I’d like to try a different drug first. If he responds as well to it as this one without the allergic reaction, then there may be some hope.”

“What are you saying?” Gabriel leans closer, tapping Dr. Nathalie’s desk with his index finger. “That he might make a full recovery?”

“We need to proceed slowly, cautiously,” Dr. Nathalie warns, “but yes, possibly.”

“Do you mean, he could be like before?” his mother asks, squeezing his hand again and excitedly exchanging a look with his father.

“Before what?” Adrien asks, suddenly entering into the conversation despite the fact that he is the main topic.

“Before the kidnapping,” his mother supplies.

He looks up in confusion at her, his gaze then travelling to his father and finally to the doctor. He doesn’t understand.

“Adrien,” Dr. Nathalie begins, “about three years ago a group of men accosted your mother and you after leaving a photoshoot. They meant to kidnap you, but your mother convinced them to take her instead. They held her for ransom for about a month before the police were able to rescue her. Do you remember?”

“No...that...that was just a dream.” Adrien shakes his head as he closes his eyes. “My mother, you,” he says turning to her, “you went missing, but I never knew what happened, not for sure. Father, you didn’t tell me…”

“We didn’t know at first. I told you as much as we knew,” he explains, shifting in his seat and then clearing his throat. “And then I told you as much as I thought you could handle.”

“During the time that your mother was missing you developed an undifferentiated type of schizophrenia,” Dr. Nathalie supplies.

“What does that mean?” he asks, feeling a lump beginning to grow in his throat. He can feel the dark thoughts returning. The soft whispers of “ _ They think your crazy! _ ” float through his mind.

“To cope with the trauma, you created a multilayered delusion, believing yourself to be some type of superhero,” the doctor explains.

“Chat Noir?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Dr. Nathalie nods. “You blamed yourself for your mother’s kidnapping, felt that you had some kind of weakness that allowed it to happen. As Adrien you were unable to save her, but as Chat Noir you are a hero, saving Paris every day.”

“It’s not real?” he asks in confusion. “I’m not Chat Noir?” He looks at his hand, seeing the fake miraculous ring drawn on his finger.

“No, it’s not real,” she confirms. “To cope, you created this intricate lattice to support your primary delusion. In your mind you’re the central figure of a fantastic world. You’ve surrounded yourself with friends, which you never had in your real life due to being a celebrity, but it’s something you always craved.”

“Nino?” he squeaks, the tears pricking in his eyes. “Marinette? Alya?”

"Yes, a whole classroom full of friends. Most of them have with their own super powers, who are as real to you as I am right now, more so, unfortunately, than the actual people that you have based them on,” Dr. Nathalie sighs. “Together you face grand, overblown conflicts against an assortment of monsters, both imaginary and rooted in ancient myth. Every time we think we are getting through to you, more fanciful enemies appear.”

“Hawkmoth…Looney Ben...they did this to me,” Adrien murmurs more to himself than to anyone in the room with him.

“It’s okay, you’re safe. You’re with your family. They can’t hurt you,” his mother soothes, brushing a hand across his forehead to adjust the fall of his bangs.

“Ladybug?” His eyes silently asking the question he can’t dare to say out loud. Ladybug is real, isn’t she?

“That’s the partner, right?” his father asks.

Dr. Nathalie nods in answer. “Adrien, all the people you created; your partner, your friends, they aren’t as comforting as they once were, are they? You’re not the special chosen one that they all thought you were. They’ve turned against you.”

“I was trying to protect them,” Adrien argues.

“But they can protect themselves can’t they? I mean, they all have miraculous now. That created inconsistencies, didn’t it? Marinette, Nino, Alya, Kim...the list goes on and on. Even Chloe Bourgeois of all people got a miraculous!”

He nods reluctantly. “There’s a whole box full of them,” he confirms, referring to the miraculous box.

“You used to create these grand villains to battle against, but now who’s the big, bad boss of them all? Your own father? Who just wants his wife back, just like you want your mother back? But, you see...she’s here,” Dr. Nathalie gestures to his mother, who smiles warmly at him. “There’s no need for this false reality. There’s no one that needs saving and your father isn’t your enemy.”

“Adrien,” his mother says quietly, turning his face gently with her hand so that he will face her. “What happened to me...it’s not your fault. No one blames you.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “Maman, I’m so sorry!” Tears fall freely down his cheeks, which burn brightly from shame. It should have been him that the kidnappers took. It would’ve been if his mother hadn’t sacrificed herself by convincing them to take her instead of him. He had been too scared, but he knows he failed her. He should have protected her.

“I know, Kitten!” she cries, wrapping her arms around him, cradling his head with one hand against her shoulder. “I’m sorry, too! I haven’t been able to be here for you like I should have been. I’ve...I’ve had my troubles, too. But, what happened...it’s not your fault! We love you so much!”

“Stay with us, son,” his father begs softly, folding his arms around them both. “Don’t leave us again, Adrien!”

Sandwiched between his parents, warm and secure, loved and accepted, he promises, “I won’t, I won’t leave.”


	3. Alternate Realty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien spends some time in the other reality, meeting familiar faces with very different backstories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to AvrilRMaria for beta reading. Apologies to fans of Nathaniel. Remember this is an alternate universe.

“Where are we going?” Adrien asks. Nino has collected him from Dr. Nathalie’s office after saying goodbye to his parents. They promised to visit him again tomorrow.

“Well, that’s up to you,” Nino replies as he rolls him in a wheelchair down the hall and into an opening elevator. “Doc said to take you back to the ward, but it’s your choice. The common room or your room?” 

“My room?” he asks, but Nino only nods, thinking the patient has made his decision. 

“Here we are!” Nino announces a few moments later when he brings the wheelchair to a halt outside of a closed, white door. He opens it, then folds up the foot rests on the chair. And then steps back, gesturing for Adrien to enter. “All yours! Papa G. sprung for a solo room for ya.”

Adrien slowly walks in, taking in the crisp white sheets of the single bed, the pale yellow walls, and off-white linoleum floor. His eyes fall on the small framed photo of his parents and him sitting on top of the dresser. It was taken at one of the fashion galas when he was, maybe twelve or thirteen years old. He looks very young despite the stiff penguin suit he’s wearing. He seems happy, but he can’t remember what that feels like. All he feels is numb, probably in shock from finding out that his life as he knows it is all a lie. It’s a fantasy of his own making, that is, if Dr. Sancouer and his parents are to be believed. He knows he should believe them, but there’s this small voice in his head telling him not to.

“ _ Don’t believe it, kid _ ,” the voice, which sounds a lot like Plagg, says to him. He gulps, trying to unhear it. He can’t let anyone know he’s hearing things. They’ll think he’s crazy, well  _ crazier _ . 

Nino draws the curtains open, letting in some light. There are bars on the windows, reminding Adrien that he’s as much a prisoner as a patient. 

“Is there…” he hesitates to ask, but Nino’s open, honest face encourages him. “Is there anything else I can wear? I feel a little bit, um, exposed.” His fingers pinch the thin fabric of the hospital gown.

“Of course, my man! Ya got a whole closet full of clothes,” he indicates the dresser. “Pick out whatever you want. You need help?”

Adrien shakes his head and opens the top drawer, then the next one below it. He sees clean underwear, thick socks, comfy t-shirts, flannel pajama bottoms, and sweats. He wonders what his father would think seeing him dressed in such casual lounge wear. 

“Call me if you need anything,” the nurse indicates a button on the wall. “Come out when you’re ready. The common room’s at the end of the hall.”

“Nino!” Adrien calls, stopping him from leaving. “If I said or did anything...if I hurt you, I want you to know, I’m sorry.” His green eyes lock with the brown ones of his friend, no,  _ his nurse,  _ he reminds himself. Nino looks older in this new world with stubble on his now squared off chin. He’s taller and more filled out, but he still wears the same red cap, although it feels odd to not see his headphones around his neck.

“It’s cool, bro. You know, I’d never hold it against you.” He offers him his fist and Adrien bumps it in return.

Nino leaves, allowing Adrien some privacy to change his clothes, despite having to leave his room door open. Now donned in fresh clothes, he flops on the bed to think. Staring at the ceiling he tries to work out what’s happened and what he should do. He thinks back, reviewing everything that happened to him that day. He remembers the akuma battle against Looney Ben. He had been hit somehow, like with telepathy. It messed with his head and he had found himself here. He had thought he was hallucinating being in the hospital, since each time he had only been there for what seemed like a few minutes at most, until now. He had been here for hours and they kept telling him where he had come from, the world he had known, wasn’t real.

“ _ I wouldn’t give up on you, Chaton _ ,” Ladybug’s voice plays in his head. “ _ I believe in you. Don’t you believe in me? _ ”

It’s a rhetorical question to which he already knows the answer. As much as he’d like to stay in a world where his mother is alive, healthy, and still in his life; hell, he’d wished for this very thing every day since she went missing, he knows sadly that it’s not real. It’s the effect of whatever whammy the akuma has put on him. His earlier promise to “his parents” that he wouldn’t leave this world was a moment of weakness on his part, the akuma preying on his innermost dreams and playing with his emotions. He realizes it now, and silently promises himself to be more vigilant. He has to be strong, and somehow he has to break out of this world and get back to Ladybug. She needs him and he needs her. They have a job to do: stop Hawkmoth. And, of course, there’s also the small matter of him being completely in love with her. 

Gathering his wits, he knows what he has to do: find a way out. He was trapped in a similar situation when they fought the akuma Pixelator, although that alternative universe was just a blank, white landscape. At least this time he’s not trapped with Chloe. He wanders over to the window, eyeing the drop. His room is about five flights up. He tries to open the window, but the sill has been nailed shut. 

“ _ Not getting out that way _ ,” he thinks to himself. 

His room overlooks the hospital’s lawn, which is dotted with a few trees and bushes. Between the bars he sees some patients sitting on benches and walking on the path, closely monitored by hospital staff. In the middle distance there’s a park. A little girl with brown pigtails swings while her mother, talking on her cell phone, pushes her from behind.

Turning around, he looks at his room, hoping that there might be something in it that would be useful to him, something he could use as a weapon or fashion into a tool. Unfortunately, it’s sparsely decorated with just a bed and a dresser. The only light comes from the window and the two fluorescent tubes in the ceiling. Besides the framed picture of his family, there are no personal items except for a few drawings hung on the wall above his bed. He steps closer to admire them. The artistry is far too advanced to have been done by him. Adrien can barely draw a straight line, much to the chagrin of his talented father. 

One drawing that catches his eye is a pencil sketch with watercolor of a woman’s gown.The material appears lightweight, perhaps silk? The bodice is fitted with a sweetheart neckline. Sleeveless, the wide straps are scalloped and piped in black, matching the hem of the wide, floor length skirt. The dropped waist also has the same scalloped piping from which imminates five tiers of asymmetrical, ruffled layers that are offset at the right hip, which is accented by a free form applique butterfly. The pink dress gradually darkens from a blush at the bodice to a rose on the lowest tier of the skirt. The pink embroidered floral design on the bodice is mirrored in silver on the skirt. 

Adrien tries to imagine the woman who would wear this. It’s meant for a young lady and someone very feminine. It’s a romantic look to be worn at an important event, like a royal ball out of a fairytale. He smiles to himself. It seems fit for a princess. He expects to find his father’s signature, but is surprised to find a scrawl of initials that he can’t quite read and doesn’t recognize.

He notes that there are other sketches of clothes and accessories hanging on the wall, all bearing the same signature, but one drawing stands out from the rest. For one thing it’s in ink with painted color highlights. For a second thing, it’s figural, containing two people to be exact, which are very familiar looking. There’s a boy with blond hair and green eyes wearing a black cat suit complete with cat ears, tail, and a mask running along a roof top. The golden bell at his throat makes his identity certain: Chat Noir. The other figure, feminine in design, is farther away, swinging on a line, but the red and black spotted suit and blueish-black pigtails are unmistakable. It’s his lady! Adrien frowns in confusion. Dr. Nathalie claimed that Ladybug wasn’t real and yet, here was evidence of her existence, right there on the page! 

“ _ Maybe it’s a clue _ ,” he thinks. “ _ A way to get out of here _ .” With extreme delicacy, Adrien removes the drawing from the wall. He needs to find the artist, certain that they will confirm what he already knows in his heart to be true, and with any luck it will help him get back home. 

Stepping out into the hall, he tiptoes cautiously toward the common room. He can hear voices and a guitar playing. When he walks in he recognizes everyone. They are some of his classmates from school. A few are sitting on the couch near the TV, which is playing an anime that Adrien used to watch as a kid. Others are on the opposite side of the room huddled around Luka, who’s playing a guitar. In the middle sits Nathaniel at a table by himself. Knowing he’s the best artist in his class and also of his interest in comic book superheroes, Adrien guesses that it was Nathaniel that made the drawing.

“Hi Nathaniel,” Adrien says, striding right toward him.

“Oh? I’m ‘Nathaniel’ today, huh?” he asks with irritation, not looking up from his sketchbook. “I thought I’m ‘Evil Illustrator’?”

“Is that what I call you?” Adrien asks, not remembering ever doing so, although that was the name Nathaniel took when he got akumatized by Hawkmoth. Of course, in this new world  _ this _ Nathaniel didn’t know that. It must seem strange, even mean. “That’s...rather rude. I’m sorry.” 

The pencil in his hand stills and the artist looks up at him through his red bangs. “Never known you to apologize before. You’re always so...cocky.”

“Oh! Well, I guess I’m not quite myself today,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with one hand. Nathaniel quirks an eyebrow silently asking why. “Nathalie, I mean, Dr. Sancouer, she’s got me on new meds.”

The other boy nods, understanding. His eyes flick to the empty chair across the table from him, which Adrien takes as an invitation to join him. He sits.

“Any side effects?” he asks.

Adrien nods. “I had an allergic reaction apparently, trouble breathing.”

“Oh. That sucks,” he murmurs as he continues to draw a portrait of a kid sitting on a sofa across from them, reading a book. 

“That’s a good likeness of Marc,” Adrien compliments. He hopes it will provide an opening to ask him about the drawing of Ladybug he has folded up in his pocket.

Nathaniel looks up, a small “thank you” falls begrudgingly from his lips.

“How are we today?” a squeaky voice asks right in Adrien’s ear, making him jump. He looks up to find a broad smile and blue eyes.

“I’m fine, Rose, thanks,” he answers, not really thinking. He always says he's fine. “How are you?”

“I’m doing  _ great _ !” she exclaims with a giggle. “Dr. Sancouer said you seem more yourself today, Adrien. I can see she’s right!” She addresses Nathaniel with the same question. He grunts a reply and she responds with, “So glad to see you up and out of bed today! And you’re back to drawing! That’s super!” With quick steps the nurse hurries over to ask a similar question of another patient. Adrien watches her go, breathing in deeply the sweet scent of her perfume that lingers in the air.

“You  _ do  _ seem different,” Nathaniel notes quietly, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms in front of him as he eyes the other boy. When Adrien asks how, Nathaniel replies, “Well, for one thing you’re using everybody’s real name instead of those weird nicknames you give everyone. Ya know, Marc is ‘Reverser’ and Nurse Rose is ‘Princess Fragrance’. Hell, you didn’t even freak out when she called you Adrien. Normally, you’d throw a shit fit if you’re not called ‘Chat Noir’.”

“Wh-what!” he squeaks. Leaning in conspiratorially, he whispers, “You know I’m Chat Noir?”

“It’s kinda hard not to. You introduce yourself as Chat Noir to everyone you meet. You insist on being called that. All. The. Time.”

“Oh.”

“You don’t remember?”

Adrien shakes his head sadly. He can feel that lump starting to grow in his throat again. Everything feels so strange here, so foreign and uncomfortable.

“What  _ do  _ you remember?” Nathaniel asks.

“I recognize everyone, but they look different...older. But, I don’t remember being here before. It’s like today’s my first day.”

“First day, huh? Okay, well maybe I can help, you know, fill in the blanks? I’ll give ya the scoop on everyone.”

Nathaniel proceeds to tell Adrien about everyone in the hospital. Apparently he’s lucked out getting Nathalie as his doctor. Dr. Bustier is very touchy feely and makes you talk... _ a lot. _ She has a few individual patients, but mostly oversees the group sessions. Dr. Mendeleiev is the exact opposite, not really caring about what you tell her, and tends to over prescribe. Dr. Sancoeur’s methods are an equal mix of the two. The new resident, Dr. Haprèle, is pretty much scared of her own shadow, so Ivan, one of the floor’s orderlies, follows her around like he’s her bodyguard.

“Ivan’s as strong as a rock,” Nathaniel tells Adrien, “but he’s really just a big softie once ya get to know him. As for the nurses, Nino and Rose are the most helpful and patient. Kim can be kinda a dick, so try to stay on his good side.”

“How do I do that?”

“Just ask about his workout routine. He’ll talk your fucking ear off, but it’ll score you some points, maybe even an extra dessert,” Nathaniel advises. “Alya’s the head nurse. She’s bossy and nosy as all get out, but I guess that’s her job.”

“What about the patients?” Adrien asks, glancing at those watching TV.

Nathaniel scratches the side of his face as he surveys the room. “Well, there’s only a few you need to watch out for. Don’t believe a fucking work Lila tells you. She’s a goddamn pathological liar.”

Adrien nods his head. That certainly tracks with what he knows of her from the other reality. Nathaniel continues, telling him not to bring up Chloe Bourgeois, the mayor’s daughter, in front of Sabrina.

“She’s completely obsessed with her. Total stalker. Rumor is she broke into Chloe’s room at Le Grand Paris and the mayor had Sabrina locked up here,” Nathaniel whispers. “But, the most important thing is don’t stare at Juleka or look her in the eye.”

“Why?” Adrien asks surprised.

“She’ll totally go off on ya. Ya know, ‘cuz of the burn scars,” Nathaniel informs him. When he asks Nathaniel for more information, he quietly explains that Juleka was burned on the face and neck as a child when her family’s house boat caught fire. It traumatized her to such an extreme that she barely talks and always hides the burned side of her face behind her hair. She has a fear of being stared at and also of being photographed.

“One time Alya had her phone out and Juleka thought she was trying to take a picture of her, even though she wasn’t. Juleka had a huge melt down and attacked Alya, trying to take the phone. I don’t think she meant to hurt her, she just wanted the phone, ya know? It took Ivan, Kim,  _ and _ Nino to wrestle her off of Alya. That girl is strong!” Nathaniel emphasizes. “But, it was Rose that calmed her down enough that they were able to finally inject her with a sedative.”

“That’s awful,” Adrien breathes.

“Yeah, sometimes it can be pretty fucked up here,” Nathaniel agrees. “I mean, Alya shoulda known better. She was in deep shit afterwards. M. Damocles, the hospital administrator, suspended her for a week without pay. And, she and the rest of the staff are banned from having their phones on them during work hours. They have to leave them in their lockers, which, honestly, is only common sense, but Alya was super pissed. We all thought she’d quit, but she didn’t.”

“Wow, I had no idea.”

“Everything’s cool now though,” Nathaniel reports. “Juleka’s brother, Luka, has started visiting more often and he brings his guitar. I think most people appreciate the music, especially Juleka.” 

Adrien looks over finding Juleka sitting between her brother and Rose. The two sing while Juleka looks on, smiling. There are others sitting with them, enjoying the Jagged Stone cover song, but Adrien doesn’t allow his eyes more than a quick glance, so as not to upset Juleka.

“What about the others?” Adrien asks. “Max and Marc?”

“Max is cool. He’s just obsessed with numbers and statistics. It’s all he’ll talk about. I think he’s got some kinda autism? I dunno. He’s just here during the day while his parents are at work,” Nathaniel explains. “The drama around Marc happened when they came the first time. Stupid doctors couldn’t decide what ward they should be assigned to: the boys or the girls. First, they went with the girls, since that was their gender when they were born, but then the dummies  _ reversed _ that decision and put them in with us on the boys side. They get a private room though for, like, safety or some shit. I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. I mean the staff could have just asked us if any of us would mind to room with Marc. I would’ve volunteered, but whatever!” He rolls his eyes with disdain.

“Marc’s been here before?” Adrien asks.

“Yeah, this is their second time, probably won’t be their last. You know what they say about suicide attempts?” he asks. Adrien with wide eyes shakes his head. “If at first you don’t succeed,” Nathaniel smirks wryly, “try, try again.” 

“I...I don’t think that’s funny,” Adrien says, feeling offended by the casualness of his comment.

“You think I’m joking?” he asks. “I’m  _ dead _ serious.”

“Stop it,” Adiren huffs.

“Oh, look who can’t take a joke?” Nathaniel asks rhetorically. “Mr. Comedy, himself, the goddamn Pun King! I  _ know _ it’s not funny! But, you know what  _ is  _ funny? You know what’s fucking  _ hiss _ -terical, Chat Noir?” he questions without waiting for a response. “It’s that some of us aren’t ever getting out of here. In less than a year, we’re gonna be transferred up to the 10th floor, where the adults are, the lifers!”

“Nathaniel…” Adrien holds up his hands in surrender. Why was Nathaniel getting so mad all of a sudden? What did he say that was so wrong? That he didn’t think they should be laughing about Marc’s suicide attempts?

“And, you know who we’ll have to look out for up there?” he cries, getting louder with every word. “A woman who thinks she’s a goddamn pirate, a mute who only communicates through mime, and a guy who thinks pigeons are his fucking children!”

Suddenly, Nathaniel’s on his feet. With a hard slap to the table he shouts, “That’s the life we have to look forward to, and don’t think for a second that you won’t end up there too!” He hastily grabs his notebook and pencil. Realizing he means to leave, Adrien catches his sleeve to stop him. He still hasn’t asked him about Ladybug.

“Wait! I want to ask you about your drawing!” He fishes the folded up paper out of his pocket, all the while holding onto the other boy’s sleeve to keep him from leaving. Nathaniel is screaming at him to let him go. “Just tell me about your picture. Tell me about Ladybug,” Adrien pleads.

Nathaniel stills, eyeing the drawing, and then looks at him with a devilish smile. “There. Is. No. Ladybug!” he screams. Pulling his sleeve out of Adrien’s grasp, he then snatches the drawing out of his hand and rips it in two and then again and again. He throws the pieces into the air. They catch the air for a second before falling to the floor. Adrien’s knees crash to the ground, hurrying to scoop up the remnants.

“Stop! Stop it r-ri...r-riiiight now!” a voice calls behind him. He feels a protective hand on his shoulder and knows immediately who it is. 

“M’Lady?” he blurts, but is surprised to find someone else looking down at him:  _ Marinette _ .

“I’m so sorry, Chat Noir! I can fix it...some tape, or, or, I can draw you a new one,” she suggests kindly. She offers him one of the scraps of paper that she’s rescued from the floor. 

Adrien swallows hard. He didn’t expect to see her here. Where had she come from? Maybe she was part of the circle surrounding Luka as he played. The blue haired guitarist is hovering nearby, uncertain as to what to do.

“Everything okay?” Luka asks Marinette, who gives a curt “I g-got it!” in reply.

Adrien can’t take his eyes off Marinette as she scrambles to pick up the ripped paper. She shouldn’t be here. At least, not as a patient. As a doctor or a nurse or a visitor, sure, that would all make sense, but no, not as a patient. Not Marinette! She’s too talented, too kind, too wonderful to be in a place like this. He refuses to believe that she’s sick. It can’t be, it just can’t be!

Rose is now there trying to calm everyone. He can hear her squeaky voice, but the words aren’t registering. All he can do is stare at Marinette, who’s talking loudly and adamenty, trying to defend him against Nathaniel, who’s also shouting. It’s too much! He feels confused and overwhelmed. Abandoning the few pieces of the ripped drawing that he’s managed to save, he allows them to fall to the ground before running down the hall to his room without so much as a word to anyone. 

He can hear Nathaniel shouting at him from behind. “Some big hero you are! You fucking scaredy cat!”


	4. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very purr-sistent one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug formulates a plan to cure Chat Noir. Adrien questions his reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title, "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one" is a quote from Albert Einstein. I couldn't resist adding the cat pun. ;) =^..^=
> 
> Thanks to AvrilRMaria for once again beta reading for me. You're the best!

With a moan he opens his eyes. Seeing the ceiling, he realizes he’s laying down. With some effort he sits up, despite the nausea, but doesn’t recognize the room. For a second he curses himself, thinking perhaps he’s now in a  _ third _ reality, but then it dawns on him. Although it’s dark, he can see everything in detail through a green lens, his night vision power. He looks down at his hand, seeing it gloved with cat claws and his miraculous on one finger.

He’s back! But, where is he?

“Ladybug?” he calls, wondering if she’s near. His cat ears pick up a hurried footfall, no two. The door opens with a creak. Light streams in from behind two figures.

“Chat?” she asks, launching herself at him. Her arms wrap around him protectively.

“I’m okay, L.B.,” he soothes. “Where am I?”

“Master Fu’s,” she explains. “I didn’t know what else to do when I couldn’t wake you. I was so worried.”

His miraculous beeps, signalling he’ll need to detransform soon. “How long was I out?”

“Maybe 10 or 15 minutes,” she replies, turning on the bedside lamp. She brushes his bangs back from his forehead, looking him over with a critical eye.

“Felt longer,” he mumbles. “More like hours.”

Ladybug kisses his temple. “You’re still hot. I’ll get you a cool compress.” She hurries away, but not before exchanging a worried look with Master Fu.

“Alright, Chat Noir,” Master Fu says as he sits beside him on the bed. “Tell me everything that you can remember. Leave nothing out.”

\-----o-----

“I brought you some tea,” Ladybug says, handing him a mug. He nods in thanks. Taking the cup, Chat Noir merely blows over the top, dissipating the steam for a brief moment. He leans against the pillow propped up at the head of the bed and brings his knees to his chest.

“Any progress?” he asks. He had been there at Master Fu’s house waiting and resting while they researched what might have happened to him. During that time Plagg had eaten, and he had slept while the afternoon turned to evening. He wondered what his father must be thinking, since school had long since ended and he would normally be home by now. 

Ladybug nods and tries to smile brightly. “Master Fu’s pretty sure the reason you’re still experiencing symptoms from the akuma attack is because Hawkmoth recalled the akuma before I could cleanse it. We need to get the patient from the hospital to be akumatized again and then cleanse it. Then, you should go back to normal.”

“So, what? We wait until Ben feels negative emotions and Hawkmoth akumatizes him again?”

“I was actually thinking we might be able to instigate him into those negative emotions,” Ladybug admits, sitting down on the bed across from him.

“How would we do that?” he asks with a frown.

“Well...we could ask his doctor to take him off his meds, but only temporarily!” she quickly assures him.

“That doesn’t sound very ethical…”

“You got a better idea?” she snaps. She notes the way his ears sag on the top of his head in response. “Sorry,” she says more kindly. “I just want to see you well again.”

A silence falls over them. He can feel Ladybug looking at him. She chews her bottom lip nervously. Chat shifts uncomfortably under her gaze. He should be trying to make her feel better with a pun. That’s what he normally does, but for some reason he just doesn’t have it in him right now. He sighs. A sense of hopelessness washes over him. He fears it’s always going to be like this. 

“I feel so lost,” he whispers.

“I know you’re confused,” she tries to soothe him, reaching out for his hand and giving it a squeeze.

“I’m trying…” he replies lamely. 

“You’re not in an institution, Chaton,” she states matter of factly. “You’ve never been in an institution.”

“Yes, I have!” he blurts. 

“What?”

His eyes flick downward in shame. It’s something he’s always been ashamed to admit. He’s kept it a secret, never telling anyone, not even Nino; but, he supposes he can’t hide it any longer. It’s affecting his ability to be her partner. She deserves to know. Setting down his mug on the bedside table, he confesses, “Back when I lost my...someone, um, someone close to me I got so scared, I freaked out. My father thought there was something seriously wrong. He sent me to a clinic…”

“You never said anything…”

“Secret identities, remember? I’ve said too much already…” He tries to pull his hand away, but Ladybug isn’t letting go. He looks up at her and he can see the silent pleading in her eyes for him to open up to her. “I was only there a couple of weeks. Chalked it up to grief. But...what if I never left? What if I’m still there?” The lump in his throat is back again. His eyes begin to tear up as the fear returns. “ _ What if I’m crazy? _ ” is the question he’s really asking, but too afraid to vocalize.

“You’re not!” she yelps. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but it’s the past. You’ve got to trust me.” She squeezes his hand again and then for good measure she wraps her arms around him. “You’re not crazy. We’re going to figure this out, just like we always do. We’re a team! The best team in the world!”

“Thanks, Ladybug,” he replies gratefully, returning her embrace. If there’s one person he can trust, then it’s Ladybug. If she says he’s not crazy, then he’s not crazy. 

After a moment they break apart. Chat sits back and sips his tea. He can tell that there’s something else she wants to say by the way her brows are furrowed. He waits patiently. 

“Chat…” she begins. He nods, encouraging her to continue. “In your message you said Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth. How do you know?”

He had prepared himself for this question. When he found his father’s lair this morning he didn’t have the forethought to gather any evidence, too shocked by the disturbing discovery. She would have to take his word for it, but it would be unlikely that Chat Noir would uncover the truth, so he would have to claim someone on the inside as a source. 

“His son, Adrien Agreste, found out and told me. That’s why he was at the akuma battle this morning. He knew we’d be there, so he went there and told me.”

“And you believe him? What’s his evidence?”

“He found a secret room in the Agreste mansion, accessible from his father’s study. It had a ton of butterflies in it,” Chat explains.

“The same black and purple butterflies that Hawkmoth uses?” Ladybug asks, intrigued. 

“No,” he says with a frown. “They were white.”

“Hmmm…” She rubs her chin, thinking. “Hawkmoth only uses one butterfly to akumatize his victims. Why would he need a ton?” she asks, picking apart the story.

“I don’t know, but…”

“We already ruled out Gabriel Agreste, remember? Hawkmoth akumatized him into The Collector.”

“I know, but...don’t you think that it’s highly suspicious that on the exact same day you find out that Gabriel Agreste owns a book about the miraculouses he just so happens to get akumatized?”

“I think it’s a coincidence,” Ladybug retorts.

“You don’t believe me?” he asks, shocked.

“Of course, I believe you, Chaton. It’s just...I think Adrien might be mistaken.”

“Why do you say that?”

“His father came to his school today really worried about him.”

“Yeah, I bet,” he mumbles sarcastically. “ _ Worried that I know his secret and that I’ll tell someone _ ,” he thinks.

“He said Adrien’s been acting strangely. According to Alya, you know, the Ladyblogger? Well, she’s in the same class as Adrien and apparently he had a fight with his friends this morning. Now, he’s run off. No one can find him. I think something’s wrong with him.”

“You think he’s crazy!”

“I didn’t say that!” she replies hurriedly shaking her hands.

“You were thinking it though!” he accuses, sloshing his tea on the bed.

“Careful!” she warns. “Look, I just think it’s possible that he got the wrong idea. You didn’t see his father. He’s sincerely worried about him.” Ladybug tilts her head and smiles. “As soon as we find Adrien, then we can verify his story. But, first things first: we’ve got to get you better.”

Chat Noir dumbly nods. They can fight about the identity of Hawkmoth later. If needed he can detransform and tell Ladybug again as Adrien.

“So what’s the plan?” he asks. “How do we get Ben upset enough to get re-akumatized?”

“Leave that to me, Chaton,” she says getting up. When he moves to join her she pushes him back down with both hands. “You have to stay, Chaton.”

“But…”

“No buts. You’re not well. You’re in no shape to fight.”

“You can’t face him alone!” he argues. He needs to be there to protect her. That’s his job.

“I don’t intend to!” she smirks. “I’ll pick out one of the other miraculouses and choose someone worthy to back me up.”

“Who?” he asks without thinking. She gives him a disapproving look. Keeping identities secret has always been her top priority and not just for herself, but for everyone who wields a miraculous. He looks away sheepishly. “At least tell me which miraculous you intend to use.”

“I’m thinking the snake,” she hums. “The lyre the holder plays might be helpful in keeping Ben calm.”

“But,  _ Adrien Agreste _ is Aspik!” He jumps to his feet, gesticulating with his hands.

“How did you know that?” she asks, her hands landing on her hips.

“I...figured it out,” he replies lamely, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and then drops it suddenly, instinctively wrapping his arms around his chest and shrugging as if it’s no big deal.

“Well, obviously I can’t ask Adrien since he’s disappeared. I’ll just have to choose someone else.”

That hurts. She’s rejected his help as both Chat Noir and Aspik. An idea pops into his head. He could tell her where to find Adrien, get there ahead of time, and receive the snake miraculous. “Ladybug, what if…”

He moans, holding his head as he feels a stab of pain. She grabs his arm to steady him, then gently pushes him back to bed. 

“This is  _ exactly _ why you can’t come,” he hears her say. He wants to protest, but no words come.

\---o---

Sitting on the hard bench is beginning to make Adrien’s butt hurt. He shifts slightly to relieve the pain without drawing any attention to himself. He can feel the eyes of the nurses watching him. Acting “normal” is hard for some reason, probably because he never felt the need to act before, and the longer he spends at the hospital the less certain he feels about what normal really is. His body seems stiff and awkward. What should he do with his hands? Cross them? Sit on them? He opts to lean back, stretching his arms out across the back of the bench. Think “cool”, think “casual”, think “sane”.  _ Fuck!  _ It shouldn’t be this hard. He’s a model for christ’s sake! Sitting and looking pretty should come naturally to him. 

Trying to relax, he folds his hands in his lap and closes his eyes, breathing in and out slowly. The fresh air smells sweet, much better than the toxic sewer or the strong incense of Master Fu’s massage parlor. A soft breeze ruffles his hair, ticking his forehead. He wonders if he should dare move it out of his eyes or not. Would a sane person do that? He decides that they would and runs a hand through his outgrown bangs.

“ _ Father must hate my hair _ ,” he thinks. “ _ It feels longer than normal _ .”

As he sits, he tries to distract himself from his self-deprecating thoughts by watching those in the park across the street. Among them he spots Alix, wearing her roller blades as per usual. Around and around she skates, sometimes forwards, other times backwards. Occasionally, she’ll jump a curb and land solidly with a thump. She stretches her arms out as she skates, not for balance, but to feel the air rush around her. It looks like she’s imagining herself flying. Adrien can’t help but feel envious of Alix. She looks so free, so happy. And he...is not.

He’s been in the hospital for a full day. After leaving Ladybug in Master Fu’s bedroom, he’s eaten dinner, slept all night, had breakfast, made a macaroni art project, watched TV, eaten lunch, and is now having outdoor free time. The other patients of his floor are scattered across the lawn. Nathaniel sits under a tree drawing. Adrien tries very hard not to make eye contact, while still being very aware of his presence. Juelka and Nurse Rose are tossing a beach ball back and forth with Lila, whose going on and on about her last vacation in Monaco, where she hung out with Jagged Stone and XY. Others are following the Tai Chi that Master Fu, or rather M. Fu, is leading. 

The whole time Adrien’s been gone, he’s been trying to figure out how to get back. He’s worried about Ladybug. He should be there to help her. She shouldn’t have to face Looney Ben alone and there’s also a major battle against Hawkmoth coming. Knowing of no way to escape this world other than through his mind, he tries again to think of his partner, replaying their last conversation in his head. Closing his eyes, he can see the bright red color of her suit, the furrow of her brow, the pull of her lip as she chews on it. He imagines the sensation of those lips brushing against his temple. Desperately he strains to hear her voice call his name.

“Chat Noir?”

For a brief instant he thought perhaps it had worked, that he was back with Ladybug, but when he opens his eyes he still sees the park across the street and Alix whizzing by. Looking up to find the voice that had spoken to him, he smiles at the sight of her.

“Hello, Marinette,” he greets in as cheerful a voice as he can muster. It still hurts to think of her here, as trapped as he is. She looks much like she does in his other world, although like everyone else, she’s older. Her hair is in pigtails, although they are slightly askew, and she’s wearing pajamas just like he is. 

“Oh!” she lets out a breathy, almost surprised exclamation. “Sorry, you don’t usually say name, I mean, my real name.” She tucks a loose lock of her raven hair behind her ear as a small smile spreads across her face.

Adrien groans, his head lolling into his hand. “What awful nickname did I give you?”

“Well…” she says as she sits beside him, “you have a  _ lot  _ of nicknames for me: M’Lady, L.B., ‘Bug, Bugaboo...you even call me Princess sometimes, but it sounds like  _ Purr _ -incess,” she laughs. “But, mostly you call me Ladybug. I like them all, except Bugaboo,” she teases.

Adrein stares at her wide eyed. 

“But, I don’t really mind!” she’s quick to reassure him.

“You’re…” he swallows, gulping air to try to catch his breath. “You’re Ladybug?” She nods. He braces himself against the bench to stay steady. 

“You okay, Chaton?” she asks, the concern evident in her voice.

He nods. Slowly gathering himself he says, “I’m just surprised, but I don’t know why. It makes so much sense: the way you care about people and help them. It should’ve been so obvious. I even said you’re like our everyday Ladybug.” He chuckles to himself, “A superhero right here all along!” Seeing her with new eyes, he notes other similarities from her eyes to her smile, even her hair in pigtails.

“I don’t know about that,” she responds modestly. Her eyes lower to the ground while her cheeks flush pink. She looks a bit embarrassed by his words, but also pleased. “I fixed your drawing,” she declares thrusting the torn picture, now taped together, into his face.

“Thank you,” he says, taking it from her. “See? You saved my picture. Just like I said, you’re a hero!”

She laughs as her eyes travel from the picture to the perpetrator who destroyed it in the first place. Growing thoughtful, she advises, “Don’t be too mad at Nathaniel. He has outbursts like that sometimes, but it’s not his fault. He’s just scared, you know, of never getting out of here.”

“You drew this for me,” he says, but not as a question. His brain chooses to ignore her words, occupying itself with more important matters: the drawing of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Is he remembering her giving it to him? “It’s us, huh? I suppose you must think it's silly, the idea of dressing up in costumes, running across rooftops, fighting evil villains, saving the city…” He begins to fold up the drawing, but she stops him.

“I think it’s wonderful!” she corrects. “I like the idea of being your partner! I like the way you see me: strong, clever, graceful, confident...”

“But, you  _ are _ those things and so much more!”

She shakes her head, pulling her knees up to her chin. “I’m nervous most of the time. I even get nervous about being nervous!” She sighs wrapping her arms protectively around her legs. “I’m clumsy and timid. I stutter.”

Adrien frowns, “You’re not stuttering now.”

She lifts her chin off of her knees to look at him. Her smile is so bright it practically blinds him. “You’re the only one I can talk to without stuttering.”

That admission knocks the air right out of him. He doesn’t know what it means, but feels in his gut that it means something, something important.

“I hear you’re on new meds. How are you feeling?” she asks, looking him over with a discerning eye. 

He blushes under her scrutiny, “I...I don’t know. I feel like I can see things clearer now, but...I’m even more confused.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want the other world to be a fantasy. I don’t want _Ladybug and_ _Chat Noir _to be a fantasy.”

Marinette nods sadly, “I get it. You’re not ready to give it up. It’s understandable. It’s a beautiful world you’ve created, Chat. I wish I could go there, too.” She sighs, “But, I can’t and neither can you, not if you want to get better.” She fidgets with her fingers before asking, “Do you want to get better?”

They sit in companionable quiet as he mulls over her question. The knee jerk reaction is, “Yes, I want to get better.” Who wouldn’t? And yet, can he really give up Ladybug? Or, Plagg? Could he stop being Chat Noir? He has experienced such freedom, such joy, since he received his miraculous. What would he be,  _ who _ would he be without it?

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Marinette says softly, breaking the silence. “I’ll be leaving here soon. Dr. Bustier is letting me go home.”

“That’s wonderful!” Adrien enthuses.

“Really?” she asks with surprise. “I thought you would be upset or mad at me!”

“No! Not at all! You should be home. You should be anywhere but here, Marinette.” He places one hand over hers. “You have so much life inside of you. It’s not right for it to be stifled here. You should be out there,” he gestures to the park across the street, “chasing your dreams. You’re going to be an amazing fashion designer, I know it.” He squeezes her hand for emphasis.

“I wish I had your certainty,” she replies wistfully. There’s a small tremor in her voice. “I don’t feel stifled here. I feel...safe...”

“I’m sure your parents and your friends will make you feel safe, too.”

She nods, “My parents try as best they can. I don’t have any friends out there...not really. I mean, I suppose I could meet up with Alya after I leave here. We’ve become pretty close. Would it be weird to hang out with your former nurse?”

Adrien shrugs, “I dunno. I guess not.”

“Yeah…” she sighs. “The only other person I know out there is Luka. You know, Juleka’s brother?”

He nods silently. A pang of jealousy fills his heart at the thought of Marinette hanging out with Luka, going to the movies or ice skating.

“He’s nice and I like his music, but…I’d rather be with you,” she admits, looking at him through long lashes. “You make me feel safe.”

He smiles brightly, knowing exactly what she means. He feels safe with her. Obviously, he trusts her like no one else. She’s his partner. 

“I have an idea. How about any time you feel scared out there, you come and visit me here. As long as it’s during visiting hours, of course.”

“Okay,” she agrees with a grin. “I’d like that.”

“Me, too,” he hums. “You know,” he says leaning in, “you don’t have to wait until you’re  _ wound  _ up. You can visit me even when you’re _ alarm _ ingly happy.”

“Are you doing time puns?” she asks, feigning offense.

He nods, “Specifically clock puns. Are they  _ tick _ ing you off?”

“You  _ tock _ too much, Chaton,” she snarks, sticking out her tongue.

“Adrien,” he corrects. “My name is Adrien.”

“Adrien,” she repeats, trying out the name. “I like it.” She lowers her eyes for a moment and he can tell she’s thinking about something. When she looks back up at him again, they lock eyes and he can see that same fierceness from when he met her on his first day of school. “I like talking to you like this.”

“Is it different than how we normally talk?” He feels nervous to ask, but forces himself to do so anyway. “Am I different?” She nods in response. “Less cocky?” he suggests, remembering Nathaniel’s words.

“No, not exactly,” she frowns, trying to formulate her words. “Normally, we banter and tease and...flirt,” she smirks. “You tell me Chat Noir and Ladybug stories, sometimes we even act them out.” 

“Act them out?” he yelps in surprise.

She nods and then points to a talk oak tree in the middle of the lawn. “We meet up there, pretending it’s the Eiffel Tower or a rooftop. We plan our ‘attack’ and then jump down to chase whoever is that day’s akuma. Nino and Alya get so mad at us!” she laughs.

“I must get you into trouble,” he says with a concerned frown.

“It’s all in good fun,” she assures him. “Most people play along. We just run around the lawn a few times. Then we say ‘Pound it.’” She offers him her fist and he bumps his own against hers. It feels both familiar and odd. 

Adrien looks down at his hands in his lap. “It sounds...I sound crazy...” he murmurs.

“You’re not!” Marinette asserts. “You just weren’t able to cope before, so you slipped into being this other person. But, it’s okay, you know?”

Adrien nods, although he’s not fully sure he believes it. “I’m not sure who I am anymore...Chat Noir...Adrien…”

“You do seem different. You’re more open, even vulnerable. It’s like…” she smiles, “It’s like I can see you without the mask. I like you, both yous, Chat Noir and Adrien.”

“I like you, too,” he smiles, now understanding what she means by “likes”. He had messed up last time, but he would not make the same mistake now. His mouth reacting to the feelings within his heart without consulting his brain first. “I probably told you this already, maybe many times, but...I love you, Marinette.”

She shakes her head and he braces himself for the tongue lashing that he knows is coming. He shouldn’t have said that. He had promised her no more declarations of love and he had gone and done it again!

“You told Ladybug, but never me.” Leaning in closer, she moves his hand that is on top of hers so that his arm loops over her shoulders. Resting her head on his chest, she whispers, “I love you, too, and I want you to get better. I don’t want to be alone out there. I need my partner.”

Adrien’s heart lurches at the sound of her voice cracking, hearing her sadness mixed with fear and loneliness. He’s felt all those things, too; when his mother left, when Ladybug rejected him, when he pushed his friends away. He doesn’t want to feel them anymore. He doesn’t want  _ her _ to feel them anymore. Drawing her closer against him and wrapping his other arm around her, he feels the pull of this world growing stronger.

\---o---

“How do I know?” Adrien asks. “How do I know  _ for sure _ that this world is real and the other world...isn’t?” It’s a question that has been running through his head, since his talk with Marinette on the bench.

“Obviously,  _ this  _ is real!” his father stresses in exasperation. “I’m right here talking to you. You can see me, can’t you? Hear me?”

Adrien winces. Dr. Nathalie holds up a hand, asking for silence. She pushes her glasses up on her nose. “I know it can be confusing, Adrien, to know which reality is real. The fact that you are questioning the reality of your fantasy is a huge step in the right direction.”

“We’re very proud of you, Kitten,” his mother encourages, squeezing his arm.

“It might be helpful to examine your fantasy analytically,” the doctor suggests from behind her desk. She picks up her pen and turns it slowly in her hands as she talks. 

“What do you mean?” the patient asks.

“You created the fantasy out of an emotional need, but logically it doesn’t make sense. For example, none of the actors in your fantasy make much progress in terms of character development. People by their very nature grow and change as they gain experience and learn from their mistakes, but the people in your fantasy world basically stay the same. Alya is nosy, but never finds out anything of any real note. Lila lies even about not lying and without any consequences. Chloe is a bully, despite her apologies and hints at making a change, she goes right back to square one.”

“Huh,” Adrien grunts, letting Dr. Nathalie’s words sink in, but she doesn’t give him much time, instead carrying on with her critique.

“The rest of your classmates are laughably one-note. They are not fully realized people. Nino is the trusted best friend, only there to support you. You know nothing of his family life, his background, his history, his goals. Rose is an idealistic, romantic. Juleka is a shy, goth kid. Max is a nerd; Alix, a tomboy; Kim, a jock; Nathaniel, a moody artist. On and on…

“The secret identities are laughably transparent,” she notes with derision. “As you describe them it would be ridiculously obvious to everyone who Ladybug and Chat Noir are. Furthermore, when you do discover each other’s identities, any progress made and potential for character and relationship development is scrapped by a very convenient memory wipe. It might as well never have happened.

“And then there’s the bad guys,” she sighs. “Having your father be the ultimate big bad is rather...cliche, don’t you think? As for the akumas, they’re all based on someone that you know, like those at the hospital, or have seen in the media; such as Jagged Stone, Mayor Bourgeois, or the reporter Nadia Chamack. And when you can’t think of a new one, you just recycle one that you’ve already used. How many times have you fought Mr. Pigeon or Chloe Bourgeois or Lila?” 

“Multiple times,” Adrien concedes.

“And then there’s you,” Dr. Nathalie points at him with her pen. “As Chat Noir your powers aren’t essential to defeating the akumas. Ladybug’s Lucky Charm is what’s needed to defeat the akuma, and her Miraculous Ladybug spell puts everything back the way it was. Your role is basically…”

“A sidekick,” he completes her thought.

“Yes, exactly, or in some ways even worse. You’re the damsel in distress that needs rescuing by the hero. You’re not the main character in your own story.” Dr. Nathalie sets down the pen and folds her hands. “The magic...it’s the most obvious proof of your fantasy world being just that, a fantasy. There’s no such thing as kwamis or miraculous. There are no superheroes. There’s no magic.”

“But…” he wants to protest, but her arguments do make sense despite not wanting to believe them. Seeing the grim faces of his parents and his doctor, Adrien knows no matter what he says, he won’t change their minds. He sighs heavily.

“I know this is hard to hear, Kitten,” his mother soothes.

“But it’s time you accept it and move on,” his father dictates. “This nonsense…”

“Has been the best way Adrien has known to protect himself,” Dr. Nathalie interrupts, “but we want you to understand, Adrien, that it doesn’t have to be this way. We can help you cope in the real world.”

“How?” he asks, not really believing that it’s possible.

“First, you need to set aside your fantasy. Then, you need to face what happened to you and your mother, deal with your emotions in a healthy way, and heal from the trauma that you experienced. It’s going to take some time and it’s going to be hard, but we are all here to support you.”

“We only want what’s best for you, Adrien,” his father intones.

“We know you can do it,” his mother encourages. 

He merely nods as tears fall down his cheeks. Wiping them away quickly, he hopes his father didn’t see. Everything they said...it’s awful and painful. Adrien wants desperately to be anywhere, but there. He doesn’t want to believe them. The conversation turns to the details of his treatment: how well he’s tolerating the new meds, what his new therapy will entail...but Adrien’s not listening. He’s thinking, trying to process all of Dr. Nathalie’s points in an attempt to find a hole in her logic. If he can find a flaw, then that would prove she’s wrong and ergo that his supposed fantasy world is not a fantasy, but the real thing.

His mind latches onto one point in particular: “The akumas, they’re all based on someone that you know... or have seen in the media.” If he can identify an akuma that he doesn’t know personally and isn’t famous, maybe that will be the key to disproving Dr. Nathalie, meaning the world with Ladybug and Plagg is real.

Adrien racks his brain, thinking of all of the akumas he and Ladybug have fought over the past year. Most of the akumas are his classmates, such as Time Breaker (aka Alix), or relatives of his classmates, including the The Pharaoh (aka Alix’s brother). Some are his teachers, like Dark Blade and Dark Owl. Others are international celebrities, like Clara Nightingale who turned into Frighteningale, or local celebrities, such as Stormy Weather, who competed on a game show for a spot as the city’s weather girl, or Mr. Pigeon, a fixture at the Jardins du Trocaderodo. A few he’s directly caused their akumatization, such as Copy Cat. Even his own father was akumatized into The Collector. 

In a panic Adrien realizes that Dr. Nathalie is right. He can’t think of a single akuma that he doesn’t know personally or knows of through the media. He can feel the overwhelming sense of dread wash over him. He can feel the lump in his throat again and he’s on the verge of crying, something that he’s not supposed to do in front of his father. Gabriel Agreste won’t put up with that kind of emotional outburst.

“I think you have made wonderful progress,” Dr. Nathalie says to him, catching his attention. “I’m very proud of you as are your parents, and you should be proud of yourself. Now, I think it would be fine for you to spend a little time alone with your parents before visiting hours are over, okay?”

\---o---

“Ladybug?” Chat Noir calls, finding himself back in Master Fu’s bedroom again. With a moan he forces himself out of bed. He quickly gets to his feet and then just as quickly plops right back down again, ass unexpectedly meeting mattress: a false start. A second try meets with success as his feet stay firmly on the ground this time. Carefully opening the door, he can hear voices floating down the hallway. With quiet stealth afforded to him by his miraculous, Chat Noir stalks toward the voices.

“What if it doesn’t work?” he can hear Ladybug ask. “What if...what if Chat Noir is like this forever?” Her voice wavers and he can sense her anxiety. He wants to rush in to comfort her, but he doesn’t. Now that he knows who she is, he hesitates, feeling even more ashamed about hurting Marinette. Wearing his mask falsely absolves him of his sin against her. It’s unfair, a lie that benefits him too unevenly. He’s not sure how to reconcile their partnership behind the mask with their broken friendship outside of it.

“We won’t know until we try,” Master Fu replies. “Your Miraculous Ladybug spell has always worked before, the only unusual aspect is that this time Hawkmoth recalled the akuma butterfly. If cleansed, then your spell should work as it has always worked.”

“Okay,” Ladybug agrees. “I just hope we can get that patient upset again and that Hawkmoth plays along. Looney Ben is the key to fixing Chat.”

“Choose wisely,” Master Fu instructs as he opens the Miraculous Box. 

Chat leans against the wall, Ladybug’s words echoing through his head.

“Looney Ben is the key. Looney Ben is the key.  _ Looney Ben _ is the key.”

A flash of inspiration hits him. He doesn’t know Looney Ben! He’s never met him,  _ ever _ ! He has no association with the hospital he’s in. As far as he knows Ben’s not famous, in fact Chat doesn’t even know his last name.

His miraculous beeps: three pads. Chat sighs, covering his ring. With quick steps he hurries back to the bedroom.

“Chat?” he can hear Ladybug calling him.

Jumping back in bed, he lays down, pulling the covers over him. He shuts his eyes and pretends to breathe heavily as if he is asleep. A creak of the door soon follows. He can feel her hovering over him. Chat forces himself to keep breathing and to feel relaxed despite the impulse to hold his breath and to stiffen in fear of getting caught. After only a few moments, although it feels much longer, she departs closing the door with a gentle click.

Chat exhales slowly, opening one cat eye and then the other. That was close. He’s not ready to face her, but even if he was, she wouldn’t like what he’s thinking about doing. He kicks off his covers, whispering the magic words excitedly to drop his transformation. Plagg zooms out of his ring. His green eyes glow in the darkness.

“Hey, kid,” the kwami yawns and then smacks his mouth. “Got anything to eat?”

Adrien loops the strap of his messenger bag over his head, removing it from his body. Reaching in, he feels around for some cheese.

“Plagg!” he shushes him with a finger across his lips. “I’ve had an idea! I think I know of a way to prove that this world is real and the other world is fake.”

“Do ya need proof?” Plagg asks, surprised.

“Yes,” he says in frustration. He dumps the contents of the bag onto the bed. “I need to know for sure and I want to prove it to Dr. Nathalie and my father and..”

“ _ Doctor _ Nathalie?” Plagg asks. “What exactly has been going on in this other world?”

“No time to explain,” he snaps. “Ugh! There’s no more camembert! There’s only the power-up cheese that Master Fu made you.” He opens the carton, finding the colored cheese wedges.

“I’ll just go to the kitchen,” Plagg floats toward the door.

“No wait!” Adrien cries. “Don’t!” He takes a breath to calm himself. “Ladybug thinks I’m asleep. I need to find the akumatized victim from today, you know, Ben? He’s the key to all of this. If I can just prove that I never met him before today and that he has no association with anyone that I know, like he’s not a relative of someone at school, then that will prove that this world is real.”

“Kid…”

“This is important, Plagg. I need to do this.”

“Ladybug’s not gonna like this,” Plagg drawls shaking his head.

“Exactly why we have to hurry! We need to get there before she does. We should have some time because she’s going to pick another partner. Please, Plagg!” he begs with great urgency. He shoves the circular carton of cheese in front of the kwami’s nose.

“Well…” Plagg says as his keen eyes inspect the different flavors of magical cheese. “I dunno…” he hems and then turns his attention to his chosen. “I’m not so sure I like this idea either. You still look...”

“I’m fine!” the boy insists. “Come on, Plagg!” Adrien tempts as Plagg’s little black body hovers back and forth, following wherever the cheese goes. He knows his kwami can’t pass up a meal. To seal the deal, he’s about to promise that he’ll pick up more cheese as much as he wants on the way back when a bright light flashes. He winces, closing his eyes to protect them.

“Adrien! Who are you talking to?” his father barks.

Adrien blinks. He’s back in the hospital, in his private room. His father is standing above him as he sits on his bed. His mother sits next to him, holding his hand.

“No one…” he says, trying to cover his mistake. His hand absently rubs the back of his neck. He knows he’s messed up. They shouldn’t have heard that.

“You said ‘Plagg’,” his father presses.

“That’s your, um, kiwi, isn’t it, Kitten?” his mother asks sweetly, but there’s a worried tremor in her voice. She gently pulls his arm away, not allowing him to rub the back of his neck. It’s a nervous tick of his that she has always been disapproving of seeing him do.

“Kwami,” Adrien corrects softly as he folds his hands in his lap.

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth before looking up questioningly at her husband. “What should we do?” his mother asks his father. “Should we get the doctor?”

“No, I’m tired of waiting. Three years and nothing to show for it. Adrien,” he sharply addresses his son, causing him to jump in surprise, “there’s no such things as kwamis. Plagg isn’t real. Say it.”

Adrien looks up at him with wide, questioning eyes.

“Dr. Sancoeur even said it herself, ‘there’s no such thing as kwamis.’ It’s time for you to admit it.”

The boy turns his head away, unable to look at his father. Above him, the tall man’s figure casts a dark shadow, blocking out the light that shines from above him.

“Say. It,” his father demands. 

“Gabriel…” his mother begins, but her husband cuts her off.

“No, Emilie. He needs to understand,  _ really _ understand.” Turning back to his son, he says, “Well, Adrien? We’re waiting...”

The lump is so large in his throat that Adrien can barely swallow and he’s afraid he might choke on it. He wants to resist, but the pressure, the harsh glare and disapproving huffs of his father, the tremor in his mother’s voice, it’s all too much to bear. He knows it’s his fault. All of this is his fault. He wants to make it better, to make it easier. They’re disappointed in him. His illness has hurt them. 

“There’s...there’s no such thing as kwamis and…” Adrien chokes out, “...and...Plagg isn’t real.”

His father smiles, quickly sitting beside him and pulling him into a hug. “ _ Finally _ ,” Gabriel breathes, “finally you understand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The critique Nathalie gives was fun to write, but I really do love ML. I wouldn't be writing fanfics if I didn't, but the opportunity to skewer the show was too fun to pass up. ;)


	5. Reality Used to be a Friend of Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat Noir goes looking for proof of his reality's existence, but he finds more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for not uploading this chapter last week. My wonderful beta reader, AvrilRMaria, made a comment that I wanted to address before posting, but before I could do that life took over. So, now that I have revised, I am posting. Thanks for your patience. I'm still working on the ending of the next chapter, so I cannot guarantee that it will post timely, but I will do my best.  
I wrote this chapter before we knew what the powers of the snake miraculous are, so I'm not going to be sticking to canon on that point.  
The chapter title is taken from a song by P.M. Dawn.

Adrien blinks, the light bothering his eyes and causing a pain to throb through his brain. He finds himself looking at bright, green cat eyes.

“You…you just said I’m not real,” Plagg mumbles dejectedly as his ears lay flat against his head.

“I’m sorry, Plagg,” Adrien responds sincerely. “He…he made me say it.”

“The doctor?”

Adrien shakes his head, “My father, but the doctor…everyone agrees. They all say that you, Ladybug, this world…it’s all a fantasy.”

“You can’t believe them, kid,” Plagg shakes his head. “It’s the akuma…”

“I know, I just…I just wish I had something, some way to know for sure…”

“You need proof,” Plagg says more as a statement than as a question. The kwami nods solemnly, understanding. “You still wanna see that Looney Ben guy?”

“You’ll go?” Adrien asks looking up with hope.

“I liked the green and blue cheeses,” Plagg responds, eyeing the power up wedges in the circular container, “but I don’t think swimming or ice skating powers will be helpful this time. Let’s try the yellow…”

\----o----

Chat Noir can feel the extra energy flowing through his body from the tips of his cat ears to the pads of his feet. Yellow cheese provides increased stamina and power. He feels stronger, faster, sharper.

With a muffled thump Chat Noir lands at the front entrance to Maison Blanche. The security guard jumps to attention at the site of the superhero, eagerly volunteering to assist in any way. Chat explains why he’s here despite being after visiting hours. The guard chuckles good naturedly, probably relieved to know that there’s no akuma. He knows where Dr. Cinglé office is and offers to escort the superhero there.

A few moments later Chat Noir is face to face with the good doctor. She offers him a chair and then something to drink, which he declines. The guard bids them farewell with a salute that Chat returns.

“I take it your visit is business and not pleasure,” Dr. Cinglé begins. “Is it about Ben?”

“Yes,” he nods. “How is he? Is he acting normally?”

“He’s back on his meds,” the doctor explains. “He’s much calmer now. Is there some reason why you think he wouldn’t be?”

Chat pivots, dodging the question. “Could you tell me…what’s wrong with Ben? I mean, why is he here?”

“That information is confidential.”

“I’m not being nosy. You see, we have reason to believe that Ben will be akumatized again.” Chat explains that Ladybug didn’t cleanse the akuma like normal. “Hawkmoth merely recalled it. He could send it again at any time.”

“You’re saying Ben is in danger?” the doctor asks with concern.

“Yes,” Chat nods. “And, he was a formidable opponent what with his super powers and all. If we had a better understanding of him, why he’s here, how he thinks, then it might help us to stop him.”

Dr. Cinglé considers for a moment. “I suppose it would be in Ben’s best interest to help you.” She rubs her chin thoughtfully with one finger. “Very well. What do you want to know?”

“What’s wrong with him? Why’s he here? How long has he been here? What about his family?” Chat rattles off the questions rapidly.

The doctor holds up one hand, stopping him before he can ask more questions. “He has an undifferentiated type of schizophrenia. In laymen’s terms he thinks he’s you, well, not specifically you, but a superhero,” she replies, gesturing toward him. “He’s created a fantasy world and he can’t tell the difference between the real world and his delusion.”

“I see…” Chat scratches the side of his face as he absorbs her words, which sound oddly familiar.

The doctor turns around and opens a drawer, pulling out a file folder. She lays it on her desk and opens it. “He’s been with us for about three years, since he was fourteen years old.”

“Does he have any family?” Chat asks, lifting his chin in the air in hopes to get a better angle to read the file himself, even though it's upside down.

“A father…” she hums as she looks over the paper. “His mother disappeared under mysterious circumstances...that was actually the triggering event for the deterioration of his mental health.”

“He uses his fantasy as a coping mechanism?” he squeaks, feeling unnerved that deep down he already knows the answer.

“Yes, exactly.”

“Could you tell me their names? The parents?” he asks, wondering if he knows them.

“Well…” she hesitates, but complies. “’David Preste and Eva Preste, parents of Benjamin David Preste,’” she reads. He mulls over their names, trying to determine if he’s ever heard them before. Almost satisfied that he never has, something suddenly dawns on him.

“Ben D. Preste?” he asks. “His name is _ Ben D. Preste _?”

“Yes…” she says slowly, a frown forming across her forehead.

Chat Noir starts to laugh. Then, he howls. “Ben D. Preste! Don’t you get it?” he asks her incredulously. It’s so ridiculous, such an utterly ridiculous pun! How can she not laugh? But, she only smiles back, trying to understand the joke, yet failing. “Been Depressed! That’s his name: Been Depressed!” He continues to laugh, tears forming in his eyes as his belly aches from the exertion of his abs.

Dr. Cinglé chuckles nervously. She shifts in her seat uncomfortably. Her eyes flick to her watch, wondering if this meeting is almost over. “I have some paperwork to finish up…” she says indicating the pile of documents on her desk. “So, if there’s nothing else?”

“I’d like to see him,” Chat blurts. “Ben, or rather BEEN.”

“I’m not sure that is the best idea…”

“I’d like to see him now,” Chat Noir stands and leans on the desk, hovering above the doctor, “_ please _.”

\----o----

Chat Noir peers in from the doorway, seeing Ben sleeping peacefully in the single bed of his solitary room. Covered slightly by his blonde locks is a bandage on his forehead where he banged it against the brick wall earlier that day. Chat supposes that Ladybug’s Miraculous Ladybug charm must have also failed to heal Ben of his wounds.

Taking a few steps closer he can see his face more clearly. The light from the hall streams in, highlighting his features. He’s a handsome young man with stubble on his chin, a delicate nose, and a squared off jaw. Chat has no memory of ever seeing Ben before today. He’s a stranger and yet, he looks familiar.

Taking a step closer, the superhero looks over the sparse decor of the room when his eye catches on a drawing taped to the wall. His whole body stills as he focuses on the image. It’s a drawing of Ladybug and him in ink with painted color highlights. Chat is running along a rooftop with his tail swishing behind him. Ladybug, farther away, swings on a line, her blueish-black pigtails swaying. Chat frowns in confusion. It’s the exact same picture from the other world, the one that Nathaniel tore up and Marinette taped back together.

“Where?” Chat breathes, pointing at the picture. “Where did this come from?” he demands.

“I…um…I don’t know,” Dr. Cinglé says with a shrug. “I suppose Ben drew it?”

“No!” Chat snaps. “He can’t draw! He’s a horrible artist.” How he knows this, he can’t say, but he’s absolutely certain of it. “Now, who drew this?”

“I really think it’s time for this visit to end. I need you to go now.” Dr. Cinglé hustles to the door and opens it. She gestures for him to exit.

“Dr. Cinglé?” Ben asks sleepily, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Chat Noir!?!” he asks in surprise.

“It’s okay, Ben,” Dr. Cinglé soothes. “We’re sorry to have woken you. Please go back to sleep. We’re going now. Isn’t that right, Chat Noir?”

“Ben, where did you get this drawing? Who drew it for you?” he demands pointing at the picture. For a second Chat forgets to breathe, seeing many pieces of tape covering rips in the paper.

“What drawing?” Ben asks in confusion, looking up at the wall. “Oh! That one...well…” he replies, nervously rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. 

“Chat Noir?” Chat cringes. He knows that voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Bugaboo!” he exclaims turning around to greet her. “What are you doing here?” He asks, nervously rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

“I asked you first,” she retorts. “And, why are you both doing that?” she asks pointing at him and Ben and then mimics their movements.

Uncertain as to what she’s referring to, Chat Noir turns, seeing Ben rubbing the back of his neck. Chat’s own hand stills. He brings it away from his neck and stares at it. He gulps as realization sets in.

“A mirror,” he says at first more to himself, but then looking up, he demands it from all of them. “I need a mirror!”

The next few moments are confused as Chat continues to repeat his demand for a mirror while everyone around him questions him as to why he needs it, what he’s doing, why he’s there, etc. They hover around him and he pushes through to the hallway, where there’s open space and light above him. Eventually, Ladybug shoves her opened yo-yo in his face and he can see his reflection peering back at him. 

The compact tilts, catching the light. It winks at him, knowingly. He blinks, shielding his eyes. When he opens them, his mother is beside him, holding her opened compact in front of him. He stares at the face reflecting back at him. It’s older than he remembers himself looking. His hair is longer, too, as his bangs flop, hitting his eyebrows. He runs a hand down his face, feeling for the first time the stubble growing there. All traces of baby fat are gone, replaced by high cheekbones and a squared jawbone. He looks like...

“Ben,” he breathes. His mother murmurs a question and he responds. “I look just like Ben.” He runs his hand through his hair, brushing the bangs off his forehead, revealing another telling mark. “When did I get this scar?” he asks.

“Last year,” his mother says quietly. “You hit your head during a fit. You can hardly see it, especially with your bangs grown out.”

Adrien looks at the scar closely in the mirror. It’s in the exact same spot as the bandage on Ben’s forehead. “I’m Ben,” he breathes, slumping against the wall of the hallway. He slowly slides down to the floor as he realizes his connection to Ben. 

“No, Kitten,” she corrects, kneeling down beside him. “You’re Adrien. Adrien Agreste, don’t you remember?” She looks up in concern at her husband, who without saying a word, strides off down the hall.

A few moments later Dr. Nathalie is at his side. She’s talking to him, asking questions. He can hear her, sort of, but his mind is racing, trying to make sense of what he’s discovered.

“Can you hear me?” she asks.

Adrien looks up, finding Ladybug and not Dr. Nathalie. Pain swirls in his head. He’s in the hospital, but a different one than just a moment ago.

“No,” Chat Noir says shaking his head. “No, I can’t hear you. I’m not listening to you.” But, who he’s talking to, either Dr. Nathalie or Ladybug, he’s not really sure. He just wants silence. Why won’t his mind just be quiet?

“Obviously!” she retorts. “Or else you wouldn’t be here.”

Wincing, he looks up to find his disgruntled partner, flanked by the guard from earlier, Dr. Cringlé, and someone he doesn’t recognize: a tall boy dressed in an aqua-colored snake super suit. “Who’s he?”

“Viperon!” Snake Boy holds up two fingers, giving him the peace sign, which Chat ignores. It’s the new miraculous holder, his replacement.

From behind them, Ben is knocking on the small window of his door. He’s looking through it, smiling and waving. He calls to Chat and Ladybug.

“I’m ready, Chat Noir!” Ben says through the glass. “Let’s go!”

“I need all of you to go,” Dr. Criglé says. “You’ve agitated my patient.”

“Please, doctor,” Ladybug begins her planned speech, “we need your help.”

“There’s nothing more I can do for you tonight,” the doctor firmly states. “You can come back tomorrow during visiting hours and I will discuss it with you then.” 

“You don’t understand,” the spotted superhero insists, “if Ben experiences any negative emotions, then it’s very likely he will get akumatized again.”

“I’m ready to fight!” Ben shouts out. “Evil doers beware!”

“Hey man,” Vipereon leans into Chat’s space. “Don’t worry about a thing. I got her back.”

Chat braces himself heavily against the wall, willing the nausea to subside. “Not necessary,” he sharply corrects. “I’m fine. I got this.”

“That won’t be an issue tonight,” the doctor replies to Ladybug. “I’ll be ordering a sedative for Ben to calm him down after this intrusion.”

“You look like hell, man,” Viperion states, eyeing Chat. “You should go. Get some rest.”

“Yes, you should go, Chat,” Ladybug snaps. Turning back to the doctor, she quickly makes her case as to why a sedative would be the wrong move. They need Ben to be akumatized, but she wants it to happen in a controlled way.

“I’m ready, Chat Noir!” Ben screams, still banging on the door. “Are you ready?” 

“We got this,” Viperion insists, giving Chat Noir a slap on the back. “She’s better off without you.”

His words sting Chat’s soul and he looks at his lady with new eyes: Marinette, but not Marinette, not the real Marinette anyway. She’s Ladybug, a figment of his imagination, an imaginary friend, a dream girl. She’s not real.

“I need you all to leave _ now _,” Dr. Cringlé orders. She snaps her fingers at the guard, who gulps at the thought of having to forcibly remove three magical superheroes.

A few moments later they find themselves outside the hospital. The guard tips his hat at them for voluntarily leaving. Using his baton, Chat leaps to the closest rooftop. Ladybug follows with her yo-yo, taking Viperion with her.

“What the hell was that?” she accuses when she lands solidly. She lets Viperion go and rushes toward Chat, pulling on his arm to turn him around to face her. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” he chokes out. 

“Try me,” she says, crossing her arms and tapping her foot against the rooftop.

“I needed to find out for myself,” Chat replies cryptically, “and now I know.”

“Know what?” she asks impatiently. 

He simply shakes his head and moves to leave.

“What can’t you tell me?” she asks Chat as he turns his back on her. “We’re trying to help you!”

“It doesn’t matter,” he replies wearily, barely looking at her. “Nothing here matters.”

“Of course it matters! Now we’re delayed in fixing you until tomorrow!” Ladybug cries in exasperation, throwing her hands up in the air. “Which probably means a delay in finding Adrien.”

“I can help you look for him,” Viperion offers.

Chat barks a laugh. “Don’t bother.”

“How can you say that? He’s missing!” Ladybug snaps. 

“Adrien’s a lost cause. There’s no saving him and_ there’s no saving me.” _

“That’s not true!” she shouts angrily. “You don’t know that!”

“Sadly, I do,” Chat replies, now resigned. His eyes flick to the window of Ben’s room, exactly like his own room in the real world’s hospital, where he’ll likely live out the rest of his life, trapped in his own delusion.

Ladybug’s features soften as her frown fades. “Hey...hey, you’re going to be okay.” She tries to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he sidesteps her, not allowing her to touch him. He shakes his head. He can’t listen to her. She’s not real.

“Yes, yes you are, Chat! I promise, you are,” she encourages. “We’re going to figure this out. You and me, we’re a team, remember? The best team in the world!”

“No,” he says sadly, looking up his eyes find her and then flick to Viperion. “We’re not a team. We’re not partners. You don’t know me and I don’t know you.” He straightens, looking at her resolutely. “I’ve been so stupid, so foolish!”

“Chat…” He can hear her voice cracking.

“I thought you cared about it me, but it was all in my head.”

“I do care!” she argues.

“No, no, no! You’ve made it _ very _ clear that you don’t love me and you never will.” He points at Viperion. “And why would you, when I’m so easily replaced?”

“You know that’s not true, Chaton,” she replies pleadingly. “I don’t understand why you’re so upset. We talked about this. You know there are times when we need other's help and this is one of those times. We decided that I would pick a new miraculous wielder.”

“No, _ you _ decided,” he corrects.

“It’s just temporary…until you’re better. Chat, please, you’re not thinking clearly…” she says, trying to pacify him.

“For the first time, I am. I see everything crystal clear.”

“I can fix you, just give me a chance,” Ladybug tries to reason with him. “I know I can! I have a plan. This will work!”

“Oh yeah?” he scoffs, shock having now worn off, replaced by hurt and anger. “Just like the fishing rod worked? Just like your Miraculous Ladybug Charm worked? You know, maybe the fault isn’t with me. Maybe it’s with you!”

“What?’

“Hold on there, buddy,” Viperion breaks in.

“Fuck off, Snake Boy!” Chat snarls. “Maybe I’m not the one with the problem,” he accuses, rounding on Ladybug. “Maybe it’s you!” After all, she’s the fake one, the liar, the syren, fooling him into believing this world is real. “Yeah, that’s right! It’s _ your _powers that didn’t work.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” she responds, the hurt evident in her eyes. “This isn’t you…”

“Then, who am I?” he yells, rounding on her. With each word he gets more and more agitated, stalking closer and closer to her. “Who the fuck am I? I’m not a superhero! I’m not a premier de classe student! I’m not a fencing champion! ! I’m not a famous teen idol! I’m not a perfect doll for my father to pose! I’m just…” His voice cracks and then he lets out a sob, stopping him in his tracks. “I’m just me…a kid too scared to save the one person who loved me for me,” he cries, striking his fist against his chest.

She rushes to his side, holding onto his arm to support him. His face twists into a pained smirk. “So I try to make up for it by saving the one person I love, over and over again, hoping she’ll love me back.”

“Chat…”

“Don’t,” he snaps, cutting her off, the hurt evident in his voice. His sharp tone surprises her and she claps her mouth shut. A thick silence fills the air around them.

“You have to let me go,” he says, quietly, pulling out of her grip, because he knows it’s what he has to do. “I’m giving you permission to fail.” He knows it’s the one thing she’s truly scared of, because he had never felt so scared as the day he failed his mother. “I forgive you,” he says to her, who is really himself. He plants his baton on the street below, but before he can vault, she calls out to him. 

“I need to protect you!” she says desperately. “I’m supposed to save you!”

“I have to save myself,” he replies firmly and leaps. He lands hard, falling on his butt with an ungraceful thump.

“I believe you now,” Adrien abruptly interrupts Dr. Sancouer. The whole room goes quiet, everyone looking at him, sitting on the floor of the hospital hallway. “I know that other world isn’t real and I don’t want to go back there. I want to be better...healthy. You said that I need to set aside my fantasy,” Adrien says, remembering his doctor’s words. “How do I...how do I do that?”

“You need to sever all ties with the people in your fantasy world that make you want to return,” Dr. Sancoeur states matter-of-factly.

“My friends?” Adrien asks. She nods in return. “That’s done then,” he says. “I’ve pushed them all away. They don’t care about me anymore.” 

“I’m afraid that’s not quite enough,” the doctor explains. “_ You _ still care about _ them _. If you’re stressed emotionally, you will seek them out again. The only way that you can truly be rid of them is to kill them.”

“Kill them?” Adrien squeaks in surprise. “I can’t!”

“They aren’t real, Kitten,” his mother soothes. “It’s not like you’re really committing murder or anything.”

“That’s right,” Dr. Sancoeur agrees. “But you need finality. It must be severe, a clean break. No going back.”

“You can do it, son,” his father says, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Put it to rest, once and for all.” 

“We’re here for you, Kitten,” his mother soothes. “We’ll be right here with you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Slowly Adrien nods. “Okay,” he agrees. “I’m ready. I’ll do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Buffy episode has the plot point to kill those in the "fake" reality, so my hands are tied. I have to go there, but don't worry, it won't be gory and no character deaths.


	6. Reality Kills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien/Chat Noir follows his doctor's orders, but not everything goes as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to AvrilRMaria for once again beta reading for me.  
I forgot to say in the last chapter, but I wrote this fic before knowing Viperion/Aspik's powers in canon, so you will not see the canon powers being used by him.  
Akuma fight in this chapter. Warning in case you don't like physical fighting.

“Chat Noir?” Nino asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He feels for his glasses sitting on the table beside his bed. Putting them on, he confirms the feline superhero really is setting outside his bedroom window. “What are you doing here?”

“Ladybug and I need your help,” Chat replies.

“Akuma?” the other boy asks.

Chat shakes his head. “Hawkmoth. We know who he is.”

“Dude!” Nino’s eyes bug out of his head. “Who is he?”

“Gabriel Agreste.”

“Shit, dude. That’s my bro’s dad!” His hands raise up to the top of his head on their own accord, expressing his dismay. Realizing he’s hatless, he reaches for his red cap sitting on the bedside table. “Where’s Adrien?”

“He’s safe, but we have to hurry.” Chat looks over his shoulder, worriedly, scanning the skyline for any movement.

“Okay, sure, man.” Nino flips the covers off his legs and holds out his hand. When Chat takes it in return, the other boy quirks an eyebrow. “Not that I have anything against holding your hand, dude, but don’t you have a miraculous to give me?”

“Oh!” Chat starts in surprise and then thinks quickly. “Ladybug’s getting them. I’m supposed to pick up you and Alya. We’ll meet up with L.B. and fill you in on the plan.”

Nino nods in response, allowing the holder of the black cat miraculous to give him a lift via his baton.

\-----o-----

“Chat Noir” Ladybug calls out as she enters Master Fu’s apartment. “Where is he? Is he here?” she asks her master.

“I would assume so,” he responds. “I haven’t heard a peep from the bedroom, since you left.”

“He snuck out,” Ladybug informs him as she walks past him toward the bedroom. “I found him at the hospital, visiting the akuma victim.”

“I take it did not go well?” he asks, following her.

“No,” she says, flipping on the light, finding an empty room. “It did not. We’ll have to wait until morning to test our theory.” She slides open her yo-yo, looking to see if she can get a visual on Chat Noir’s whereabouts. “Where is he?” she says more to herself, as she sits heavily on the bed. “I thought maybe he’d come back here.”

“Perhaps he went home?” Master Fu offers, scratching his chin.

“Probably,” she agrees, not noticing the worried look on her master’s face. “We had a fight. I was hoping he might have calmed down by now and we could talk. Here.” She absent-mindedly passes him the snake miraculous bracelet. She had dropped Luka off at his houseboat before coming here.

Sitting down beside her, Master Fu pats her on the knee. “I’m sure you and Chat Noir will patch things up. A little space and time will do some good. You should go home. Get some sleep.”

She nods her head, but then changing her mind, she shakes it instead. “I think I’ll wait. In case he turns up here or on the communicator.” She opens it, but not finding him, closes it once more. “You didn’t see him. He was so…different. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m worried.” One after another, different visions run through her mind about what could happen to Chat Noir if she isn’t able to save him in time. Feeling overwhelmed, she falls back onto the bed. Only the pain at the back of her head as it hits something hard, prevents her from spiraling further down the rabbit hole of worst case scenarios.

“Ow!” She flinches and then moves the thin blanket off of whatever is hiding the offending blunt instrument. Picking it up, she asks, “Master Fu, what is Adrien Agreste's messenger bag doing here?”

**\------o-----**

“Kid, where are we?” Plagg asks alarmed, but trying to remain cool as he looks around, taking in their surroundings. The room is dark with high ceilings. “And, why are DJ Boy and Blogger Girl tied up in the corner?” 

“Shhh…” Adrien chastises him, not looking up. He feels annoyed by the disturbance, but he didn’t have much choice. If he stayed transformed, then Ladybug would be able to find him through their communicators. He didn’t want to be found, at least not yet. 

Plagg’s ears fall flat against his head at the harsh response, but undeterred he repeats his question only quieter. “Why are DJ Boy and Blogger Girl tied up in the corner?” he whispers.

“I can’t heeeeear you,” Adrien replies to the imaginary voice in his head and rolling his eyes.

Plagg sighs. Not taking the hint that he is purposefully being ignored, he opens his mouth unbelievably wide, takes in a huge breath of air and shouts, “WHY ARE DJ BOY AND BLOGGER GIRL TIED UP IN THE CORNER?!?”

“Hello?” Alya shouts. “Help! Help us!”

“Help, dude! Please!” Nino joins in. 

“Great. Now you got them all riled up,” Adrien chastises his kwami. He puts down the pliers he was using and picks up the bedsheet he asked Alya to bring with her. 

“Chat Noir tricked us!” Nino cries.

“He’s fucking nuts!” Alya bellows. “We need Ladybug!” 

Tearing off two more strips, Adrien ties one around each captive, muffling their mouths. “I’m not nuts!” he mutters. He had already removed their glasses, blind folded them, and tied them up with strips from the same bedsheet. “What’s nuts is being in love with someone whose identity you don’t even know. She’s in love with me with the mask off and I’m in love with her with it on.”

“Kid! What are you doing?” Plagg demands, interrupting his monologue.

“I’m my own competition! I mean, what is that anyway?” Adrien asks, talking out loud to himself as he picks up the pliers again. He kneels down, returning to his work. “It’s not a love triangle. I suppose, if you count each persona as a separate person, then there’s four of us, so that’s what? A love square?” He chuckles to himself while shaking his head. “That’s crazy!”

“KID!” 

Adrien’s head snaps to attention. “What do you want?” he barks in annoyance. Why can’t the voices in his head just leave him alone?

“Answers for one thing,” Plagg says, zipping in front of his chosen’s nose, blocking him from continuing his work. “What are you doing?” He gestures to the two bound figures.

“Setting a trap,” he replies as if it’s the most reasonable thing he should be doing. He waves a hand trying to move Plagg out of his way, but the kwami simply allows Adrien’s hand to phase through him. He‘s not moving. “They’re the bait,” Adrien says referring to Alya and Nino.

Plagg looks to the two scared kids and then back to Adrien. The seriousness of the situation settles in, taking a hold of the kwami’s heart.

“Kid, you need to stop this right now. You’re not thinking clearly.”

“That’s just what Ladybug said,” Adrien replies evenly, as he deftly twists the metal with his pliers. “You’re both wrong. I’m thinking crystal clear for once. I know what I have to do.”

“And what’s that exactly?” Plagg asks, his curiosity piqued.

“Kill Nino, Alya, and Marinette.”

“Did you just hear yourself? You’re gonna kill your best friends!?!”

“Well, not me specifically…” Adrien counters, pausing his work to puzzle out who the actual killer will be. “It’ll be Hawkmoth by way of his akuma, but since I control all of them as creator of this fantasy, I guess, technically, yes, I’ll be killing them.” He gave Plagg a small smile, satisfied with his answer, before returning to the job at hand.

“Kid, this isn’t you!”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Adrien asks in frustration. 

“Because it’s true! Look, I know finding out Hawkmoth’s identity threw you for a loop.”

“That’s the understatement of the year,” Adrien quips under his breath.

“And, fighting with your friends…I get why you did it, but this…this is crazy! You have to fight it!”

“You don’t get it, Plagg!” Adrien cries, leaping to his feet, waving the pliers at him. “I don’t want to fight it! I want to be in that other world where my mother is alive and Marinette wants to be with me!”

“But, I’m not in that other world, am I?” Plagg asks quietly.

“Plagg…”

“Forget it, Kid. I get it.” Plagg turns his back on him, but over his shoulder continues to talk. “It’s my mistake. I chose wrong. Not the first time, won’t be the last.”

“Chose wrong? You mean me?”

Plagg turns around slowly, nodding his head. “I thought you were a fighter, but I see now, you embraced being Chat Noir so easily not because you want to help people…”

“I do want to help people!” Adrien interrupts.

“Only because you were escaping from a life you hate. Not that I blame you, but…you’re always running, aren’t you?”

“No!”

“Sneaking out of the house…”

“That’s not fair. I have to sneak out to be Chat Noir.”

“You’ve snuck out other times, too,” Plagg reminds him. There had been the time he snuck out to go to public school and when he went to see his mother’s movie, just to name a few. “All to avoid conflict with your father. You let the whole world walk right over you, your father, Nathalie, Chloe, Lila. I thought maybe being a superhero might give you the backbone to stand up to people, but I was wrong.”

“I do stand up to people. I fight Hawkmoth and his akumas all the time!”

“So, why are you running now?”

“It’s…it’s complicated,” Adrien replies with his brows furrowed.

“You’re scared,” Plagg surmises. “You’re scared to face your father. If I’m not in this other world, then neither is Hawkmoth, which means you won’t have to fight him. This has nothing to do with your mother or Marinette, and everything to do with him.”

“That’s enough!” Adrien cries with his hands in tight balls and his eyes squeezed shut against the brightness. “Please…please, no more! Enough! Enough!”

“It’s okay, Kitten,” his mother soothes, running a hand back and forth across his back. “We’re here! You’re okay!”

“You’re doing very well, Adrien. Don’t push yourself. Go at your own pace. When you’re ready,” Dr. Sancouer instructs.

“Father?” Adrien whimpers, raising his head out of his mother’s lap. “Why?”

“Why what?” His father frowns in confusion.

“Why are you doing this?” Adrien asks, still thinking of his father as the supervillain from the other world.

“We’re trying to help you, Adrien,” his father replies. “We want you to be better.”

“I know,” he agrees forlornly. “I need to be better. I’m never good enough.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Gabriel corrects.

“You’re sick,” his mother explains. “We want you to get well again.”

“Is that why you don’t love me?” Adrien asks his father with hurt and shame in his eyes. It’s a question he’s held for a long time deep within his heart. “Because I’m not good enough?”

“Of course not!” Gabriel cries in surprise. “I wouldn’t be here, you wouldn’t be here, if I didn’t love you. I’ve spent a fortune trying to get you the help that you need.”

“I’m sorry,” Adrien croaks, tears forming in his eyes. He tries to blink them back, knowing that his father doesn’t appreciate his emotional outbursts, but the guilt and insecurity continue to build within him. Feelings of dread encircle him, pulling him down into darkness.

“I’d spend every last cent, if it would make you well again. The money doesn’t matter. You matter, Adrien. You and your mother.”

Adrien looks up in surprise, locking eyes with his father.

“All that matters is our family,” Gabriel says firmly. He places a hand on Adrien’s shoulder and, with his other hand, holds that of his wife’s. “I want us to be a family again.”

“I thought…” Adrien whispers hoarsely as the tears fall, despite his best efforts to hold them back. “I thought you didn’t love me.”

Adrien can practically hear the eye roll in his father’s tone of voice. “Whatever gave you that idea? Really, Adrien, I think...”

“Perhaps,” Dr. Sancouer cuts off the elder Agreste before he’s able to say something he might regret. “Perhaps Adrien needs to hear you say the words.”

Gabriel starts in surprise, but then his expression softens as he looks down at his son.

“You’re my son, Adrien. I love you very much,” he says tenderly, squeezing the hand on Adrien’s shoulder.

“I’m not!” the boy sobs, his face falling into his hands. “I’m not your son.”

“Of course, you’re my son!” Gabriel cries. He looks helplessly from the crumpled boy to his wife and then to the doctor. The two women look as completely mystified as he feels.

“No, I know the truth. Maman told the kidnappers,” Adrien balls.

“Oh, Adrien!” Emilie exclaims as realization dawns on her. “I told them that to convince them not to take you. I would have told them anything to keep you safe!”

Adrien looks up at her and then at Gabriel. “You mean…he…you really are my father?”

“Yes, Adrien,” Gabriel smiles. “I really am your father. And, I really do love you.”

“I love you, too,” Adrien says, falling into his father’s arms for a hug.

“I put too much pressure on you. I can see that now. I’m sorry,” Gabriel admits, stroking the boy’s head.

“We both are,” his mother adds.

“Things will be different,” his father states. “I promise. No more modeling or private tutors. Once you’re home, you’ll have a normal life. You can be a normal kid.”

“I’d like that,” Adrien murmurs into his father’s shoulder. They stay that way for a few moments, holding each other. Emilie dabs her eyes with a tissue from her purse, relief manifesting as laughter escaping her lips. When they pull apart Adrien is surprised to see his father’s eyes looking wet. He had never seen him cry before now.

“I think you’ve made remarkable progress today, Adrien,” Dr. Sancoeur praises. “But, I think we should stop for now. It’s been emotionally taxing for everyone and…”

“No,” Adrien says, shaking his head. “I want to finish this. I want to be done. I want to go home. Please.”

His doctor nods reluctantly. Adrien takes a breath and feeling the pull of the other world, allows himself to fall into it.

“Sorry, Kid, but I can’t let you do this!” Plagg is saying to him. He zooms over to Alya and Nino, beginning to untie their restraints.

“Sorry, Plagg,” Adrien murmurs, “but I can’t let you do this.” Slowly he takes off his miraculous. “Plagg, I renounce you.” Immediately, the black cat kwami is drawn back into the ring, which has turned from silver to black. “At least for now,” Adrien finishes his sentence. He carefully places the miraculous in his pocket. He’ll need to be Chat Noir soon enough, but for now, he can hide much easier as his civilian self, unseen by Ladybug’s tracker.

\-----o----

Not knowing what else to do, Ladybug had reluctantly left Master Fu’s house and gone home. She had bought herself as much time as she could by lying to her parents that she’d be eating dinner and then working on a project at Alya’s house. At first, they chided her for returning home so late, but seeing the worried lines on her face and the way her tired body dragged, they quickly relented. 

Alone in her bedroom, Marinette flops on her bed, not bothering to change into pajamas or brush her teeth. Tikki tries to console her, assuring her that Chat Noir would be fine until tomorrow when she would cleanse the akuma and bring him back to normal. Marinette wants to believe that with all her heart because it’s not just Chat Noir that’s in trouble, it’s Adrien, too. The discovery of his messenger bag at Master Fu’s being a sharp reminder. How it got there neither she nor her master could explain. The only thing Marinette could surmise was perhaps Chat Noir had found Adrien and brought him to his master’s house to keep him safe. But, why Chat had not told them he’d found Adrien, and where they both were now remained an unsolved mystery.

Fitfully, Marinette sleeps, tossing and turning, reliving first the akuma battle against Looney Ben and then the argument with her partner. Adrien’s mean words from their fight before class echo through her mind as well, adding salt to the already tender wound.

The next morning she wakes up with a start. Checking the time on her cell phone she has less than ten minutes to get to school. Luckily, she lives right across the street. When she walks into the classroom to find that not only is Adrien absent, but so are Alya and Nino, she has a strange feeling that something is wrong. Texting them under the desk during class results in no response.

At the break between first and second period, Marinette transforms into Ladybug. Swinging on her yo-yo, she alights on the street outside the entrance to Maison Blanche. Despite it not being visiting hours quite yet, she implores Dr. Cringlé to allow her to see the akuma victim, Ben. She needs to fix Chat Noir ASAP, and not only for his sake. She needs his help to find their friends and to stop Hawkmoth. 

When Ladybug and the doctor walk into his hospital room, they make a startling discovery: Ben is gone! Dr. Cringlé immediately turns, running out of the room to sound the alarm that a patient is missing. Ladybug slowly steps toward the window. Pulling back the billowing curtain she finds that the bars covering one window have been removed. Small, but distinctive piles of ash dot the window sill where the bars once were.

“Chat Noir!” she whispers to herself, recognizing the telltale evidence of her partner’s cataclysm. He had gotten here first and broken Ben out of the hospital.

Opening her yo-yo, she can see he’s transformed now. His location, near the docks, blinks on the screen. She presses the button to call him.

“Bugaboo!” he purrs when he answers. “So nice to hear from you. I thought perhaps you had forgotten me.”

“Chat Noir,” she begins sternly. “What’s going on? Do you have Ben?”

“Why, yes! He’s here. Don’t worry, he’s fine. Still taking his cat nap,” he informs her.

“This wasn’t the plan, Chat.”

“Sorry, L.B., but I’ve made my own plans,” he grins into the camera of his baton. “And, I’ve asked Rena Rouge and Carapace to help me out.” 

Ladybug gasps in surprise. “You mean?”

“Didn’t think I’d figure out their identities? Kinda obvious, picking your best friends...” Chat smirks. “I told you I’m seeing everything clearly now. Even you,” his voice dropping low as he hisses her name, “Marinette!”

“Chat…” she breathes. “You don’t have to do this…I can help.”

“I must do this!” he stresses. “I don’t need your help. I can do this myself.” There’s movement behind him and a soft gurgling sound. Chat Noir turns away from the screen, looking over his shoulder at Ben. “Oh! Oh! He’s starting to wake up! Almost time…” He turns back to the camera, grinning, “‘Bye-bye, ‘Bug!” he waves before the screen goes black.

\---o---

“Chat Noir?” Ben asks, rubbing his eyes. 

“Hey there, Ben.” Chat smiles fondly at the other boy as he hurries to his side. He places a comforting hand on Ben’s shoulder as he stoops to crouch beside him on the bare floor. “You okay?”

“Wha? What’s going on?” he says rubbing his eyes as the lingering effects of the sedative given to him by Dr. Cringle wear off. 

“I need your help,” Chat lies, “to stop the real evil that’s been threatening Paris.”

“Real evil?” Ben asks, sitting up, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Yes, you see, Ladybug...she’s not what she appears.” Chat shakes his head mournfully. “She’s a liar…”

“Ya ta liar!” Alya shouts from her corner, although the gag muffles her words.

“Quiet you!” Chat snaps, extending his baton so that the butt of it passes under her chin, punching a hole in the wall beside her. He just misses her, but the implication is clear. If she talks again, he’ll add a new hole to her head. “Don’t listen to her,” Chat advises Ben. “She’s working with Ladybug. They both are. That’s why I had to tie them up. Ladybug’s on her way to rescue them. That gives us a chance to surprise her and stop her.”

“But Ladybug’s a hero…” Ben insists.

“No! You’re wrong! We all are...even me. She fooled me, too, her closest ally. She’s the one wielding the akumas. Ladybug is Hawkmoth.”

“Why?” 

“For the glory...she wants to be loved, worshipped by everyone as their savior.”

“No! That...that doesn’t make any sense!”

“Think about it, Ben,” Chat persuades, wrapping a protective arm around him. “What better way to assure that you defeat the villain than by being that very villain? And by saving everyone she takes any suspicion off of herself and earns their unquestioned devotion.”

“It’s...diabolical!” Ben agrees, filling in the blanks of Chat’s lie. “It’s just like Syndrome, in the Incredibles, Issue 13.”

“Yes!” Chat pointed at him excitedly with one claw. “Exactly.”

“Or Titan in the special double anniversary issue of Metro Man.”

“Right.” Chat agrees, eying the window, sensing that time is running short. “That’s exactly her game, but now that I’ve exposed her to the world, she means to destroy our fair city in retaliation.”

“That...that makes me so angry!” Ben cries, slamming his fists into the floor. “I...I looked up to her. I wanted to be her!”

“I know! Me, too!” Chat agrees. “That’s what she wanted. To be admired and loved. We fell into her trap.” 

“I can’t believe she would do this! I can’t believe I could’ve been so stupid!” 

“Don’t blame yourself. You’re not the only one she fooled, but we have a chance now to stop her...by any means necessary,” Chat explains pointedly. 

“Any means necessary…” Ben repeats, understanding slowly sinking in. “You mean?”

“It’s the only way,” Chat assures him.

“But...superheroes don’t kill.”

“I know,” Chat nods gravely. “But this time we have to...for the good of everyone. Think of how many lives would have been saved or changed for the better if Batman had just killed the Joker when he had the chance,” Chat reasons, using Ben’s love of superheroes against him. “This is our chance, Ben. We have to take it...for the good of the people.”

“For the good of the people,” Ben repeats with a nod. “Okay.” 

“Okay,” Chat gives him a smile with a pat on the back. He moves to stand, they need to get ready, but Ben stops him.

“But...why me?”

“You were her last akuma victim. The only one that she didn’t beat because you outsmarted her, “Chat explains. “She had to recall the akuma. You denied her the glory she so desperately wants. It was because of you that she let her guard down and tipped her hand. The only reason that I know who Ladybug really is, is because of you Ben.”

“Really?” Ben beams with pride. “I did that?”

“Yes, you did,” Chat confirms. “But, hold on to your anger, Ben! That searing anger, that moral righteousness you feel...that’s the best way to stop her.”

“Right!” Ben agrees, standing up and slamming one fist into the flat palm of his other hand. “I’m going to stop Ladybug!”

“Yes!” Chat encourages. “And get her earrings. They’re the key to her power.”

“Right, get her earrings!” he echoes with determination.

“Benjamin D. Preste, I bestow upon you the power of the Loon miraculous.” Chat holds out a piece of a soda can, twisted into the shape of the bird. He affixes it to the collar of Ben’s shirt with a paperclip. At the same time a black and purple butterfly flutters through the window. 

It had been surprisingly easy to secure Hawkmoth’s cooperation. Chat Noir had merely placed a late night call to the Agreste mansion via the phone on his baton. After getting past Gabriel Agreste’s prickly assistant, Nathalie Sancouer, with the promise of having found Adrien, his father eagerly picked up the phone. 

“Adrien’s told me everything,” Chat Noir had told him. “I know you’re really Hawkmoth.” Gabriel began to protest, but Chat Noir cut him off. “Don’t bother trying to deny it. I know why you’re doing it. You want to bring back your wife. Touching really, trying to reunite your family.”

“Where’s Adrien?” Gabriel had demanded.

“He’s safe...for now…” Chat purred. “Do what I want and I’ll return him to you. If all goes to plan, I’ll even give you the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous.”

“How do I know I can trust you?”

“You don’t, but you can trust your son. He wants his mother back too. He says he understands and...he forgives you.”

“I want to talk to him.”

“He’s sleeping right now,” Chat responds, panning the camera on his baton to capture the live image of a sleeping Ben. Still under the effect of the sedative given to him by the hospital, Ben had been completely unaware of Chat bringing him to the warehouse. The dark room, his blond locks falling over his face, and the remnant of Alya’s bed sheet covering his body completed the subterfuge. “But as you can see, he’s purr-fectly fine.”

“Very well,” Gabriel had agreed. “What do you want me to do?”

The next morning Hawkmoth holds up his end of the bargain, sending his akuma butterfly right on cue. It lands on the fake loon miraculous and its magic washes over Ben. HIs hospital gown morph into a superhero suit with a large “LB” emblazoned on his chest. White feathered wings burst from his shoulder blades. A purple masks encases Ben’s face. In unison, Hawkmoth and Chat Noir speak to him.

“Looney Ben! I give you the power to save Paris from the supervillain, Ladybug. Bring me her Miraculous and you will be the superhero that Paris not only needs, but deserves.”

\---o---

“Chat Noir?” Ladybug calls out. The warehouse is deathly quiet. Goosebumps prickle on her skin beneath her super suit. As a precaution, she unclips her yo-yo from her waist. Twirling it in a circle in front of her in rhythm with her rapid heartbeat, her eyes search for any signs of her partner, the akuma, or her friends.

From above her she hears a moan. With a quick flick of her wrist, she sends the yo-yo flying, hooking onto a beam above her head. In an instant she’s two stories high, landing deftly on the floor of the loft. Stepping softly, a single beam of light from a small window high above cuts through the darkness. A clawed hand stretches out into the light, pulling its heavy body toward her across the floor. The sunlight glints off the golden blonde hair of her partner, who’s lying prone on the floor. Blood trickles from his mouth as he moans. 

“Chat!” she rushes to his side to assess his wounds. “Where are you hurt? What happened?”

“I’m sorry, Bugaboo,” Chat chokes out. “He overpowered me. I...thought I was doing the right thing, I’m sorry...so sorry…”

“Shhh…” she soothes. “Where’s Ben? Where are Alya and Nino?” 

Chat thrusts his thumb in the air, indicating the corner behind him. Ladybug’s sharp eyes spot the scared teenagers tied up. 

“What happened to them?” Ladybug asks, jumping to her feet. Before she can reach them, Chat catches her arm, stopping her.

“Looney Ben hit them with his powers. They’re completely out of their minds. I had to tie them up to subdue them.”

Ladybug looks sorrowfully at her friends. Alya’s shaking her head, trying to spit out the gag, which is soaked with her saliva. Nino sits next to Alya with his back against hers. The blindfold over his eyes has slipped down slightly, allowing one eye to peek out. He’s trying to say something, but the gag muffles his words. He shifts his weight, rocking back and forth. His words are louder now, but that makes it even harder to understand him.

“Their miraculous?” she asks.

“Looney Ben took them.”

“We have to get them back and cleanse Looney Ben,” Ladybug asserts. “Where is he?”

“Right here,” Looney Ben announces as he lands loudly behind her. He must have been hiding above them in the rafters. “Surrender yourself Ladybug and no one gets hurt.”

“That’s funny,” Ladybug smirks, “I was about to say the same thing to you.” She twirls her yo-yo around and around before releasing it. She aims for his torso, but he dodges, lifting up off of the ground with a flap of his wings. Pulling back, the yo-yo snaps back into her hand. In quick succession she throws out her yo-yo again and again, each time missing Looney Ben, but her throws are not without strategy. As he dodges, Looney Ben tilts back and forth, his cape twisting around one wing until he’s unable to flap it. He falls suddenly and hard to the ground

“A little fashion advice,” Ladybug smirks as she stalks toward him, “no capes!” she quips, remembering that this was the suspected hiding place of the akuma butterfly the last time they met. With a sharp pull, she rips the cape from the back collar of his super suit. Looney Ben screams as the bottom end of the cape, still tangled around his wing, tightens. Undeterred by his cries of pain she pulls harder, tearing the cape. Looking up, she expects to see the black and purple butterfly fly out of it now that the object that it inhabited has been destroyed. 

“Not there,” Looney Ben chides. He sharply grabs the end of the cape from her hands and frees his bent wing from the tangle of fabric.

“Here,” Chat whispers in her ear. He’s close. Too close. His words tickle her ears...both ears? It’s not his words, she realizes too late, but his claws. The magic of her miraculous washes over her, leaving her standing there, unarmed and unprotected. 

“Chat?” Marinette asks, bewildered and betrayed. She sees her partner holding her Ladybug earrings in one hand. She stares at him dumbfounded.

“Sorry, ‘Bug,” he says sheepishly. He can’t look at her. He can feel her hurt and disappointment, but he can’t force himself to see it on her face. It hurts too much. Slowly he backs away. “Finish it,” he mumbles as he wipes the blood from the self-inflicted wound on his lip.

Without hesitation Looney Ben strides forward, grabbing Marinette by the neck and then squeezes. Chat continues to back away, shutting his eyes tightly. He holds his hands against his cat ears, not wanting to hear the grunts and gurgles escaping Marinette’s rapidly bluing lips. His back finally hits a wall and he sinks down to the ground, hiding his head between his knees. Can’t see. Can’t hear. Can’t know.

He can feel the vibrations of the floor beneath him. Her feet scuff and stomp as she struggles. She’s not giving up. She’s fighting. Her hands claw at Looney Ben’s face and eyes. Undeterred he continues to squeeze, squeeze ever tighter.

“I can’t!” Chat cries aloud. His human ears can still hear everything. He doesn’t have enough hands to cover them.

“You can do it, Kitten!” His mother encourages. “We’re right here with you.”

“Please…” he begs between pants. “Please, I can’t!”

“Yes, you can!” his father retorts. “You have to do this! You must!”

Chat moans holding his head. “Finish it!” he cries, wanting desperately for it to be over. He opens one cat eye, peeking at the progress, only to see Alya run head first toward Looney Ben. She’s still blindfolded, but she’s able to mark him by the sound of the fight with Marinette. Alya crashes into him, her shoulder connecting with his torso under the rib cage. The akuma staggers back, losing his grip on Marinette, who drops to her knees, coughing and sputtering. 

Nino charges next. His skinny build and flexible body are to his advantage, having allowed him to work his arms around his body so that his tied hands are now in front of him rather than around his back. His gag and blindfold are gone. He raises his joined fists high about to strike when Looney Ben flaps his wings, sending a powerful wind. It knocks Nino back and he falls on his butt. 

Alya, still blind and mute, is doing her best to ward off the akuma with some high kicks, but she misses completely. Looney Ben merely laughs smugly as he grips her neck with one hand, stopping her cold. Nino is back on his feet, but only for a moment as the akuma continues his wind assault against him, launching him against the back wall. The window above breaks from the change in pressure, raining shards of glass down on him. Continuing to choke Alya, Looney Ben kicks Marinette in the stomach as she tries to catch her breath. 

Gasps and gurgles. Cries of pain. The cracking of ribs. The rushing of wind. Moaning. 

“Chat!” Marinette calls out. “Chat!” she begs.

Unmoved he sits in his darkened corner, trying not to see, not to hear, not to know. It’s too much. With his night vision he sees everything in sharp detail. With his super hearing every thump and bang echo through his mind. He can’t take much more. They can’t take much more.

“Plagg, claws in!” he cries. Detransforming will end his suffering he thinks. He won’t see. He won’t hear. Then, he won’t know.

Plagg zooms out of his ring. With wide eyes he takes in the room. His night vision allows him to see all of the gory detail of the fight and his chosen curled up in ball.

“Kid!” he calls, trying to get Adrien’s attention. “Transform! We gotta help them!”

Adrien makes no answer. He covers his ears and closes his eyes. He’s chanting to himself over and over, “No! No! No!”

“Fine!” Plagg announces. “I’ll do it.” With miraculous speed he flies above them. “Cataclysm!” he shouts. A loud crack splits the room, a falling roof beam hits Looney Ben, knocking him over. Alya falls with him, but mercifully he loses his grip on her neck. Stunned by the blow, the akuma is unable to keep up his wind assault. Nino rushes to Alya’s side, removing her blindfold and gag. She coughs and sputters, holding onto Nino for support.

“We gotta get outta here, dude,” he urges, trying to loosen the strip of bed sheet that binds her hands together. The darkness of the room is against him and all he can do is struggles against the tight knots.

“Ladybug?” Alya chokes out. With wide eyes she searches the dark room, but without her glasses she can only see a blurry figure crouched in pain on the floor. “We gotta help her!” she says to Nino, who is also basically blind without his glasses. 

A pang of guilt fills Chat’s heart. He should be helping Ladybug. He moans, hitting the back of his head repeatedly against the wall and chanting, “No! No! NO!”

“Adrien,” his father says, “I know you can do this. You’re a fighter. You’ve always been a fighter.”

“No, I’m not,” the boy corrects, finally admitting to himself what Plagg had tried to tell him. “I’m always scared. I’m a big scared-y cat. I run away whenever things get too hard.”

“Being scared is normal. Everyone gets scared…even me,” Gabriel admits. Adrien looks up at him in surprise. “I felt scared when your mother got kidnapped. And, I feared for you that you wouldn’t get well. But, I know now you will. You can do it, son. I believe in you.”

“You do?” Adrien asks in surprise. He had never heard his father express any real faith in his abilities. He felt comforted by his words and his strong arms holding him. It had been so long since he had felt this close to his father. He could feel his love surrounding him, protecting him, bolstering him. He felt he finally had everything that he wanted: his mother’s returned safe and sound, attention and emotional support from his father, and the reciprocation of his love from Ladybug/Marinette.

“Yes. I know you can overcome your fears because this time you’re going to choose to do what’s hard. You’re not going to run this time, are you?”

Adrien considers the question. He shouldn’t run away this time. He should confront his worst fears…no matter how scary or hurtful they seem…no matter how alone he might feel if he does.

“No, sir,” he agrees. “I’m not going to run away. I’m not going to choose the easy way even though I want to,” he says, looking longingly at his parents. His jaw hardens as he makes his decision. “I’m going to do what needs to be done even though it’s hard. I’m going to stand my ground and fight.”

“That’s my boy!”

“I love you,” Adrien says to his parents. “I have to go now. Goodbye.”

“Adrien? Adrien!” He can hear his parents and his doctor call his name, but he doesn’t answer. Their voices fade quickly.

“Plagg!” he shouts. “Claws out!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go, which is more of a prologue due to the shortness of it. It's written and beta read, so I will post it promptly next weekend.  
Thanks for your patience on this one. My life got busy and then I got sick.


	7. Prologue: Virtual Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the akuma is cleansed, Adrien chats with Ladybug while Gabriel looks on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to AvrilRMaria for beta reading this. Love you, girl!  
I accidentally posted this chapter at the end of chapter 6. It was up for about 2 hours before I made the correction and took it down, so some of you may have already read this chapter. Figured I may as well post it now, since the cat's out of he bag.  
If you want a "happy" ending, then don't read this chapter.   
I didn't write the akuma battle because 1) I hate writing them and 2) we all know what happens and can fill in the blanks, i.e lucky charm, bye,bye little butterfly, pound it.  
A time jump occurs. Consider this chapter happening at least one day later from where Chapter 6 ended.

“Ladybug” Adrien breathes as she joins him on the rooftop overlooking his school. “I...I didn’t expect to see you again...”

“I told you I’d visit you,” she says with a warm smile. That was true. She had said that when she left his house yesterday after depositing him safely home. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” he replies weakly, although he doesn’t really feel fine. After he and Ladybug had successfully defeated Looney Ben and cleansed the akuma, Chat Noir had suddenly found himself in a strange place having no memory of how he got there. He had no memory of anything that had happened after he had been hit by Looney Ben during their first battle on the previous day. He didn’t remember finding himself in a different reality as a patient in a mental hospital. He didn’t remember figuring out Ladybug’s identity. He didn’t remember bargaining with Hawkmoth, promising his and Ladybug’s miraculous if he akumatized Ben. And he definitely didn’t remember that he had kidnapped Alya, Nino and Ben for the purpose of manipulating Ben into killing them and Ladybug. So, Alya and Nino’s fear and anger at him had been quite a shock, but understandable once Ladybug (and later Plagg) had filled in the blanks of what had happened.

“How are you really?” she presses. “You can talk to me, you know…if you want to.”

“I...I just feel so foolish,” he sighs, shaking his head in dismay. “I’ve hurt my friends, put you in danger, worried my father…” 

“ _ Not to mention almost exposing my identity and yours to Alya and Nino. It’s lucky that the warehouse was so dark and that they can hardly see without their glasses or else we’d be having a very different conversation _ ,” he silently chastises himself. 

Ladybug pauses, chewing her lip as she things of what to say. “You made a mistake,” she soothes. “An honest mistake.”

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly.

“I’m sure you thought you were doing the right thing,” she points out.

“I was so wrong!” he cries in dismay, hands lifting up to the sky in exasperation. “I can’t believe I thought my father was Hawkmoth! I should have known better! I should have trusted him. It’s just when I saw all those butterflies, I…”

“Panicked?” Ladybug supplies. 

Adrien nods morosely. “How was I supposed to know that he plans to release butterflies at his next fashion show?”

After depositing Ben at the hospital, and Alya and Nino at their respective homes, Ladybug and Chat Noir confronted Gabriel Agreste. Needless to say, the famed fashion designer felt insulted to be accused of being the notorious Hawkmoth. When it was revealed that his accuser was his very own son, his mood turned to hurt and embarrassment. Gabriel had escorted the super duo downstairs, showing them the room filled with butterflies that Adrien had found only the day before. He explained that he kept them there in anticipation of his next fashion show when he would be releasing the insects as a spectacle to highlight the showstopper, a pink and silver tiered ball gown of organza and silk decorated with embroidered flowers on the bodice, and an applique butterfly at the hip. He had kept it a secret from Adrien and almost everyone else except his assistant, Nathalie, for fear of the press getting wind of it and ruining the event.

It seemed a reasonable explanation, bolstered by the fact that Gabriel fashions uses a butterfly as its logo. Satisfied with the explanation, the superheroes left with promises to continue looking for Adrien, who was still missing, or rather misplaced. Ladybug theorized that since Adrien’s messenger bag had appeared at Master Fu’s house that Chat Noir must have found him and brought him back there. Where he had taken him, however, had been wiped from Chat’s memory when the akuma was cleansed. Adrien wasn’t so much lost, as misplaced, not that she was going to disclose such information to his worried father. No sense in giving him additional reasons to be mad at them.

Chat had offered a few suggestions of where he might have hid Adrien. The duo split up to look for him. An hour later Ladybug had just happened to find him where Chat Noir had detransformed and waited to be found. She took him to his family’s mansion. Expecting to receive a severe brow beating from his father for running away, telling tales, and worrying everyone. Adrien had been surprised by his father’s relief and joy at having him returned safely home. It made him feel all the worse for his behavior. Now sitting atop of the school’s roof with Ladybug, he can’t help but keep his head from hanging low and his shoulder slumping with shame and regret.

Ladybug shrugs in answer to Adrien’s question of how he should have known that the butterflies were for innocent plans and not for dastardly schemes, but then quietly suggests, “Maybe if you two actually talked?” Adrien looks questioningly at her. “He cares about you, Adrien, he just...doesn’t know how to show it.”

“I’m not sure I know how to either,” he says turning his eyes downcast. “My mother, she held our family together, now that she’s gone…”

“She’s not!” Ladybug exclaims, but then catches herself. “I mean, not exactly. You both still love her, remember her. She can be the reason for you to come together.”

Adrien nods, “Maybe…”

They sit side by side in silence for a few moments looking out over the city. The school kids are scattered in the courtyard below, some playing basketball, other talking in pairs or small groups.

“So, why are you up here?,” Ladybug asks, gesturing to Adrien’s school mates, “And not down there with your friends?”

“They’re not my friends...not anymore,” he says.

“That’s not true. They care! I know they do.”

“I hurt them, pushed them away. I was trying to protect them from my father,” he explains, thinking of their recent fight in the classroom after Marinette’s confession. “But, it doesn’t matter now...” he says, shaking his head. “They hate me. Alya and Nino...they’re mad at me, and Marinette...I haven’t seen her for ages. I think she’s avoiding me.”

Ladybug jumps in surprise, but then relaxes as she follows his eyeline to find Alya and Nino staring up at them from below. She hums as her eyes flick from the pair to her companion next to her. “Who’s avoiding who?” she asks with a quirk of her eyebrow. Adrien blushes at the implication. “I think they will forgive you if you come down and apologize. They’re not mad....not really, just a bit...freaked out.”

Adrien nods, but makes no movement to leave his perch. Absentmindedly he swings his dangling feet. Ladybug shifts, dangling her own legs over the side of the building. Mocking his movements, she swings her legs in time with his own. He dares to sneak a peek at her, the girl he loves. Only a day earlier he knew her name, her real name. But, that was gone now, wiped away by the magic of the Miraculous Ladybug spell. It was a hard pill to swallow, losing something so precious as her real name. He supposed it was punishment for his bad behavior. He had acted very badly as Adrien, but as Chat Noir he had done, or almost done, awful, horrible things; unforgivable things. And yet, Ladybug had forgiven her partner, telling him it was not his fault and that he only acted that way because he was confused, scared, and under the power of the akuma. She reminded him that in the end, he had fought the akuma’s control and done the right thing. 

“I’m proud of you, Chat,” Ladybug had said to him. Her words made his heart flutter, soothing his wounds from the mental berating he had inflicted upon himself out of guilt.

Now Ladybug had sought him out again, this time to forgive his civilian self for his blunder in mistaking his father for Hawkmoth and for running away. He had worried everyone, causing a police search of the city. 

“Things will go back to normal,” Ladybug offers quietly, “you’ll see.”

He supposes she’s right. Things have already gone back to normal between Ladybug and Chat Noir. The sins committed by Adrien seem harmless by comparison. Looking down at Nino and Alya, he sees their worried faces looking back up at him. They would forgive him, he knows that. His classmates too, even Marinette, they all would forgive him, because that’s what friends do. A small laugh escapes his lips as he silently agrees with her. He locks eyes with Ladybug for a moment. They both smile.

Unseen from below them, Adrien’s father watches the two teenagers talk.

“I’m sorry M. Agreste,” Dr. Sancouer begins, “your son has slipped back into his delusion.”

“Is there no hope of reaching him?” the concerned father asks. His wife sniffles into a tissue as she clings to his arm.

“We can continue trying different medications, but...”

“But?” he asks, arching an eyebrow.

“I’m not very optimistic,” the doctor admits ruefully. 

Emilie sobs into the shoulder of her husband. “My boy…” she moans as tears fall down her face. Gabriel wraps a comforting arm around her shoulder, squeezing her close to him.

“Adrien’s mind has reset back to before this recent lucid episode. Everything that he experienced over the last few days, he has completely forgotten,” Dr. Sancouer continues. “He’s back to believing that he’s a superhero, fighting alongside his masked partner, Ladybug.”

“Fighting me,” Gabriel murmurs ruefully.

“Actually, he seems to have also very neatly explained that away,” the doctor notes. “He no longer thinks that you’re Hawkmoth.”

“Humph...something to be grateful for…” he replies ruefully. “Who’s that girl Adrien’s talking to?” he asks, eying the pair sitting in the tall tree in the center of the hospital’s lawn.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” Dr. Sancouer responds, “a former patient. They grew quite close while she was with us. She’s here to visit him.”

“Is it wise?” he asks suspiciously. “I mean, is she...stable?”

“Yes, she’s improved enough to go home and continue treatment as an outpatient. I think she can help with Adrien’s recovery. At the very least, she’s got him talking again...and out of that tree,” Dr. Sancouer notes watching the two teens climb down. The two waiting nurses, Alya and Nino, surround him, but the patient easily acquiesces to their demands with quick apologies falling from his lips. Marinette follows a few paces behind, pausing only to pick up a shopping bag of pastries from her parents’ bakery that she had left on the ground.

“Very well,” Gabriel agrees with a nod. “Please keep us informed of his progress.”

“Of course,” Dr. Sancouer responds. 

Emilie, too overcome with emotion, can only give a half-hearted wave as a goodbye. Gabriel gently leads her away.

“We’ll find a way,” he assures his wife. 

Emilie shakes her head. “It would take a miracle,” she whispers, choked by her tears. 

“I’m not giving up on him,” Gabriel states determinedly, looking back at his son over his shoulder. Adiren’s running around the lawn now with Marinette following. They’re chasing another patient, calling him by some strange name, and ducking periodically to dodge imaginary projectiles. “If I have to, I’ll make our own miracle.”

\---Fin---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this one or even if you didn't, thanks for reading! I always loved this Buffy episode and I'm glad I could adapt it for ML. I'm also working on another adaptation (Jane Austen's Persuasion) for ML and I like doing them, so I may do more in the future. It certainly makes plotting a lot easier since someone has already done the work for me.


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